As The World Falls Down
by JudasFm
Summary: Sequel to Resurrection. Hounded at every turn, L finally returns to Wammy's House with Soichiro in an attempt to sever his ties with the place once and for all. When things go drastically wrong and L disappears, Soichiro is forced to turn to the one person who may be able to help rescue him; namely Mello. Unfortunately, finding someone like Mello is not going to be easy...
1. Alive Again

**Disclaimer: **I'm not the creator or owner of _Death Note_. Oh, and contrary to popular opinion, I'm also not a guy ;) Not that it really matters, but so many people have mistaken me for male that it's getting a little embarrassing, so I'm sticking it in here XD

This is a sequel to _Resurrection, _and like _Resurrection_, it takes place in the movieverse. If you haven't read it, you're likely to miss a lot of the references and probably spend the first couple of chapters scratching your head and saying, "Huh?" Just so you know :P

* * *

**JULY 20**

The car screeched into the parking lot and accelerated into the closest parking bay, taking no notice of the attendant on duty whose job it was to point new arrivals in the direction of the most suitable space, and stopped so abruptly that anyone watching would have thought it had hit something.

Inside the car, Soichiro Yagami adjusted the rear view mirror and took a long look at his reflection.

He barely recognized it. The stress from dealing with that spate of grisly murders which had shocked Tokyo and L's final act at that damn wedding reception – an act that had left him in a coma for the past three weeks – had taken their toll. Although he was as neat and clean-shaven as he'd ever been, there was a gaunt look about him that hadn't been there before.

_And now that idiot Tatenaka is sending me on some wild goose chase. _When was he going to get some time to just sit down and wait for the world to stop spinning? If it wasn't one thing, it was a whole lot of _other_ things, all needing his attention because apparently nobody else was capable.

Snapping the mirror back to its original position, Soichiro wondered suddenly if this was how L had felt all the time.

_Never mind that. He's awake. I have to see him_.

The deputy director got out and shut the door carefully, as if silently apologizing to his car for having driven it in such a reckless fashion, then strode into the hospital reception, nodding briefly to the receptionist. He didn't have to do anything more than that; he was a familiar face in this hospital by now, and every member of staff who saw him knew exactly where he was heading.

_Room 14_.

Soichiro stared at the room number for a long time, his hand on the doorknob. Now the moment had come – now L had finally come out of his coma; at least, he had according to Matsuda – the deputy director couldn't summon up the willpower to open the door. What did you say to someone who had taken a bullet for you, almost dying in the process? What if L had amnesia? Soichiro felt a chill trickle down his back. He'd earned the young man's trust and affection once – and when it came to L, _earn_ was the word; it really hadn't been an easy process – but he wasn't sure if he had the energy to do it again.

_What if he doesn't remember? What if he's forgotten that day in Aomori City, or that morning on the roof?_

Aizawa and Matsuda were sitting by L's bedside while a nurse made notes on a clipboard, although both of them rose to their feet and bowed as Soichiro entered the room. Next to them, L lay motionless, eyes closed, his breathing regular. Just as he had been for the last three weeks.

The deputy director stared down at him, his own chest rising and falling rapidly. He'd come straight from Tokyo to Kofu on receiving Matsuda's message, a message containing the two words Soichiro had been waiting for three weeks to hear: _he's awake_.

Except it seemed he wasn't. Not anymore.

Soichiro pulled out a chair and sat down on it, mind whirling. It couldn't have been a joke. Matsuda – well, no, he did have a sense of humor, but he wasn't a cruel man and he certainly wouldn't joke about something like this.

"I was told he was awake," he said, to no one in particular.

"He was," Matsuda said, staring at his feet, "but then he sort of fell asleep again."

The nurse glanced at them. "That's normal. Most people only come out for a few minutes at a time, then slip back in. Next time it may be five minutes, or ten."

"I...see." Soichiro kept his eyes on L as he answered. "Will there be a next time, do you think?"

The woman looked surprised. "Oh yes. It's impossible to know when, but people who wake up once will wake up again. He's sleeping now, not unconscious. I'll leave you alone, but Yagami-_san—_" here a sharp note entered the woman's voice— "please do _not_ attempt to wake him up unless you can be civil to him!"

Soichiro at least had the good grace to flush a little at that, remembering how he'd reacted the first time he'd come to this hospital and seen L hooked up to those machines.

"But he did regain consciousness?" he asked Matsuda as the nurse swished out of the room.

Matsuda gave him a pained look. "Yes, of course. He regained consciousness _and _he spoke! I heard him with my own ears!"

"I expect it would be rather difficult for you to hear him with somebody else's," Aizawa remarked. "Speaking of difficult things, where's Roger?"

Matsuda shrugged. "At his hotel, I guess. He only comes round once a day and he's not due again until tomorrow."

Wammy's House. What the hell did he have to do to get the message across to that institution? Soichiro felt a dull spark of anger in his chest as he sat there staring at L's limp form and wondering if there was any way they could move him without Wammy's House finding out.

"How did he know where L was, anyway?" Matsuda wondered aloud. "I didn't tell anyone except you and Aizawa."

He paused for a few seconds and then turned to look at Aizawa, who held up his hands and backed off a step.

"Give me a break! I may not like Ryuzaki, but I'm not a traitor!"

"No. I guess not." Matsuda slumped down in his chair. There were faint rings under his eyes and Soichiro wondered how much sleep the younger man had been getting. Probably not a lot. "Maybe Takahashi—"

"Oh, don't be an idiot," Aizawa retorted. "I doubt Takahashi even knows there _is_ a Wammy's House, let alone how to contact them."

Soichiro was silent. That was all very well, but Takahashi had worked out that L was L within the first half hour of meeting him. The kid was young – probably even younger than L himself – but he was sharp.

"Has he been down here a lot?"

"Most days. Though he doesn't tend to linger. I think he's afraid of bumping into you."

Considering their last meeting had ended with Soichiro suspending Takahashi from duty at the NPA, the deputy director thought that was very likely.

"I can't think he's a traitor though," Aizawa conceded. "I mean, he actually seems to _like_ Ryuzaki for some reason."

Soichiro didn't answer, although in his opinion, Takahashi's liking L was nowhere near as unusual as the fact that L seemed to like Takahashi. L had been hurt very deeply in the past. Trusting someone was not easy for him.

_Exactly. Look at what I had to go through before I managed to convince him to trust me and my family._

He'd probably done too good a job of that, Soichiro thought with a touch of bitterness. Apparently not content with saving Sayu from a particularly gruesome death, L had then proceeded to sneak after Soichiro on an undercover operation and save _his_ life by taking a bullet for him.

"Well, if he's not," Matsuda countered, "then how did Wammy's House know Ryuzaki was here?"

"How should _I_ know?" Aizawa demanded. "I suppose they hacked Yagami-_bucho_'s cellphone or planted a bug on his car or something. You did send that text saying which hospital he'd been taken to."

Soichiro frowned, Aizawa's comment jerking his mind back to a certain incident with L.

"Sato," he said suddenly.

"_That_ jerk?" Matsuda said, lip curling in a very un-Matsuda like expression. "What about him?"

"Remember how he tried to kidnap Ryuzaki in the NPA that time when we had the power cut? I went to look for the fuses and left Ryuzaki behind—"

"—and Sato just swooped in on him, yeah, I remember. What's that to do with this?"

"Ryuzaki said something to me, something about how Sato had gone straight to him as soon as I was out of the way. At first I just thought he'd followed us, but what if he didn't? What if he found him because Ryuzaki had some kind of, I don't know, tracker planted on him? He said there was a tracker in his jeans that Watari planted. What if he planted some more that Ryuzaki didn't know about?"

Aizawa glanced at L's motionless form, then lowered his voice anyway. "You mean inside him?"

Soichiro shook his head. "No, I'm pretty certain that would have shown up on an X-ray."

"Mm." Matsuda sat down glumly, darting the odd look at L. "And your wife bought him all those new clothes, didn't she?"

"Yes, everything apart from the—" Soichiro stopped abruptly, then said in a different tone of voice, "Sneakers."

As one, they all turned to look at the battered sneakers that had been placed carefully under the chair.

"He always goes barefoot though," Aizawa pointed out.

"He did when he was in the hotel suite with Watari. But if Watari was there and could keep an eye on him, there would be no need for a tracker." Had Watari told L that the tracker was in his jeans to throw the young man off the scent? Soichiro thought about this, then gave a mental shrug. No matter; they'd know soon enough.

"We could cut them up," Aizawa suggested.

"I'd rather wait until Ryuzaki's awake and a lot more alert before we do something like that," Soichiro answered. "They already know he's here, so it won't change anything if we wait. And—"

A slight rustle cut him off and drew everyone's attention to the bed, where L was suddenly stirring. Aizawa and Matsuda exchanged looks, then both men got to their feet and slipped away quietly, leaving Soichiro alone with L.

"Ryuzaki?" The deputy director hardly dared to breathe. _Please. Please answer me._

L turned his head, blinking rapidly.

"Yagami-_san_..."

Good. He was awake and he knew who Soichiro was. That meant that the deputy director could proceed with a clear conscience.

Reaching down, Soichiro picked up a newspaper he'd brought along for precisely this purpose, folded it in half and smacked L on the head with it.

"You are the most stubborn, headstrong idiot in the whole of Jap—no, not Japan; in the whole of _Asia_!"

A dry, cracked smile appeared on L's face. "Alive."

The deputy director wasn't certain which of them L was referring to with that word, but he glared at him for good measure.

"Yes, we're both alive, although in your case I've no idea how. And if you ever so much as think about putting me through an ordeal like this again, I'll kill you myself! You idiot! You stupid, thoughtless _idiot_!"

L stared at him for a few moments, no longer smiling, then turned his head away again. Gritting his teeth, Soichiro took a long, deep breath, held it until he saw little sparks flashing in and out of his vision, then let it out.

"I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. I know you don't understand. I just...I couldn't face the thought of losing you. I've been out of my mind with worry these last three weeks."

L's head swiveled back, a frown on his face.

"Weeks?" he croaked.

"How long—wait." Soichiro pulled a bottle of water out of his bag. "Drink this."

"_Ramune,_" L insisted.

"You can have some _ramune_ once you're a little better. I'm not sure what soda would do to your insides right now and I don't want to take a chance." Reaching down, he fumbled at the remote attached to L's bed and finally succeeded in tilting the mattress so L was sitting up. "Here."

He opened the bottle and held it out to the young man, who recoiled a little.

Soichiro sighed. "Yes, Ryuzaki. I know you hate people doing things for you, but you've been unconscious for three weeks and I'm not sure you can hold this for yourself yet. You're struggling to even turn your head right now. Now drink."

Grudgingly, L allowed Soichiro to pour some of the water into his mouth. He swished it around a few times, then swallowed with what looked like real effort.

"That's better. Three weeks without anything to drink, your mouth must feel like sandpaper."

L licked his lips.

"Needed that." His voice was still hoarse, but not as bad as before. "Where am I?"

"Kofu National Hospital. Yamanashi prefecture," Soichiro added when L looked blank.

Pause. "Why?"

"_Why_? _Why_ is because you were shot in the damn chest and almost bled to death in my arms!" Soichiro grabbed the newspaper and smacked L again. "Idiot!"

L's face closed up and he looked away, face drawn.

"Great. I came back because I thought that was what you would want and the first thing I get is hit and yelled at. I should've gone on while I had the chance."

Soichiro was shocked into silence for several moments. L's words were a little slurred, but they'd been clear enough.

"Is that really what you wanted?" the deputy director asked very quietly. "To die?"

"I _don't. Know_." There it was, the flash of anger that was always bubbling just below the surface. Soichiro thought the only reason he wasn't treated to one of L's explosions just then was the young man wasn't feeling up to it. "I don't know anything anymore! All I know is that one minute I'm getting ready to follow you to that hotel and the next I'm here and you're hitting me on the head and telling me I've just lost three weeks of my _life_! Surely even _you_ can understand that I'm a little confused right now?"

The deputy director stared at him. "You don't remember?"

"Remember _what_?"

"At the hotel reception. You took a bullet for me."

"Ah. I see. I took a bullet for you, I saved your life and you're angry with me for it. I don't think I'll ever understand what pleases you, Yagami-_san_." Some of the anger faded out of L's eyes, to be replaced with concern. "Unless...did my taking a bullet for you somehow screw up whatever you were doing?"

Soichiro yanked his temper kicking and screaming back under control, took a deep breath and then said, "No. Your taking a bullet for me saved my life. It also subjected me to three weeks of sleepless nights and endless vigils here wondering if you were ever going to wake up again. And I'm not the only one; Matsuda's been by almost every day as well."

"Matsuda?" L frowned, blinking rapidly. "What about the divorce?"

"Still fighting." Soichiro sighed. "It's not as bad as it was though. His ex has stopped coming by his apartment, which is a blessing, and Matsuda's also discovered that smiling and being annoyingly perky and cheerful upsets her far more than yelling, but doesn't upset his daughter so much. Aizawa says Matsuda should have known that right from the start, given his personality."

That won a small smile from L.

"Yagami-_san_?"

"Yes?"

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"Until the doctor tells me you're healthy enough to leave." Soichiro emphasized the word _doctor_ ever so slightly. "And forestalling your next question, I don't know how long that will be and at the moment, I don't think they do either. At the very least, you'd probably have to meet certain milestones." _Like being able to stay awake all day, for example._

L looked a little more alert. "What kind of milestones?"

"I'm not going to tell you, firstly because I don't know myself and secondly because I know you, Ryuzaki, and I know that you'll drive yourself into the ground trying to accomplish them before you're ready." He paused, then went on. "There's something else I need to tell you. Wammy's House is here."

L tensed up for a few minutes, then looked away, lips tight.

"I know. They sent Roger, didn't they?"

Soichiro's heart jumped unpleasantly in his chest. "Has he been in here?"

"Yes. I haven't seen him, but I heard his voice and Matsuda told me about him."

"Then you know he wants you to return to Wammy's House."

L squeezed his eyes shut, fingers on one hand curling into a fist. "I don't want anything more to do with that damn House!"

"I know that, Ryuzaki." Soichiro wasn't surprised, remembering the little flashes of insight he'd got into L's life and the reality of being the best detective in the world. More than anything, he remembered that early morning on the roof when he'd finally pushed through L's protective shell and the young man had told him...well, not _everything_, but a hell of a lot more than Soichiro thought he'd ever told anyone else. "But Roger's the one you have to convince, and you stand a much better chance of doing that if you present your case to him in a calm and mature fashion."

L was quiet for a very long time. At last he said, "Yagami-_san_...I don't think I know how to do something like that."

"Then maybe you should pretend it's another case, and Roger's your client. You were calm enough when you were accusing my son of being Kira."

L flinched a little at that, but Soichiro could see him considering the idea.

"Yagami-_san_?" His voice was more slurred than before and Soichiro kicked himself.

"I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. You've only been conscious for about ten minutes and here am I already telling you there's someone out there waiting to kidnap you."

L shook his head, his breathing becoming a little more shallow. "No, used to that. Yagami-_san_, please, there's something in...old HQ." He closed his eyes, face taut as he visibly racked his brains.

"It's alright," Soichiro said quietly. "You can tell me next time."

The young man snapped his eyes open. "_No_. No time." He managed to prop himself up on his elbows with what looked like a herculean amount of effort and lay there, gasping for breath. "My apartment. I wrote...in the bathroom cabinet. False back. All that time alone, I wrote about Wammy's House. Not about me. Not about my life there. But everything about the House. Find it. Please. And...washing machine. Jeans. On floor. In there too."

Soichiro reached out and took hold of L's hand, squeezing it gently. "Alright, Ryuzaki. Alright. I'll have a look for it as soon as I get back. You get some rest."

"Don't _want_ to rest," L mumbled.

"Tough. You've just come out of a _coma_, for goodness' sake! You're nowhere near as recovered as you think you are."

"Am _so_."

Soichiro sighed. "Ryuzaki, I don't want to argue with you right now, so just this once can we fast forward to the part where you do as I suggest, albeit under protest?"

L forced his eyes open enough to look at the older man. "If I can have some more water first."

"Alright." Soichiro tipped the bottle back to L's mouth and the young man took several deep swallows, already half asleep by the last of them. "Now _sleep_. I promise there'll be someone here when you wake up." _And while you do that, Ryuzaki, I'll go and ask the nurses about my bringing in food for you, _he added to himself. L had lost too much weight while he was unconscious and the sooner he started putting it back on, the better. _At least you woke up, even if it was only for about fifteen minutes. And at least you're not brain damaged._ Of course, the tests had shown beforehand there was no danger of that, but Soichiro was never one to place a lot of faith in tests. A little rest and L would be back to his stubborn, awkward self in no time.

_Yeah. You rest, and when you've done that, we can see about feeding you up_. Soichiro wasn't familiar with Kofu, but there had to be a supermarket or convenience store around here _somewhere_...


	2. Hidden Secrets

**AiyanaMiyuki: **Yep, it's here to stay XD And thanks; this one's shaping up to be a VERY long fic ;)

**Newdles: **Have no fear; L shall be fed in due course XP

**Mystery Reviewer (AKA Guest): **Thanks, I'm so glad you like it :)

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**JULY 21**

Had Soichiro thought time dragged before, when he was at work and L unconscious in hospital? He was wrong. _Now _it dragged, now that L was conscious. The deputy director kept glancing at his watch, the clock, anything. There wasn't a whole lot for him to do in any case except research this damn case Tatenaka was sending him halfway around the world for and try to brush up on his English with the help of a phrase book he'd borrowed from the library.

It was slow going, and as soon as he was able to get away, he left. Word of L's recovery – although not his identity – had spread around the department and even Tatenaka wouldn't begrudge his leaving. Besides, Soichiro added to himself, the hospital L was in was a good two hours' drive from Tokyo.

That was something to consider. L wasn't strong enough to leave hospital no matter how much he wanted to, but he might easily be strong enough to be moved to a different, closer hospital.

The drive went smoothly, Soichiro now so familiar with the route that he could switch out as he drove. He had a bento with him that Sachiko had insisted on his taking for L and both his wife and daughter had vied with each other trying to pack in as many of L's favorite treats as possible.

Soichiro pulled into the parking lot a lot more sedately than he had yesterday, got out of the car, walked into the reception and came face to face with a harried looking Roger.

"Ah, Mr. Yagami. I was hoping you'd arrive soon. Will you _please_ instruct your men to allow me into L's room? I've been trying to see him for over an hour now."

"No," Soichiro said flatly.

A muscle twitched once or twice in Roger's cheek. "Mr. Yagami, as L's guardian—"

"—it is my responsibility to keep him _safe_," Soichiro overrode him.

The old man studied him for several seconds in silence. At last he said, "L is not your son, Mr. Yagami. You seem to be having a little trouble accepting that, and this fixation you have with him is really not healthy. He can't replace Light and nothing you do or say can change that. Please let him go home."

"He's in no fit state to go anywhere at the moment."

"No, that is true," Roger conceded. "Please don't mistake me, Mr. Yagami; Wammy's House is very grateful for everything you've done for him so far, and we will of course ensure that you are amply, shall we say, compensated—"

He got no further before Soichiro took hold of his lapels and walked him backward into the reception desk.

"If you _dare_ offer me money for what I did—"

"I wasn't suggesting a reward," Roger interspersed. "But keeping and feeding L wouldn't have been cheap. I was merely offering to reimburse you for any expenses incurred. He has a rather unique diet, if nothing else."

Soichiro stared at Roger, eyes hard. "He eats chicken, fruit, rice, fish, vegetables...I'm not sure exactly which part of that diet you would consider unique."

Roger returned the stare. "L's diet was carefully monitored—"

"What do you _mean_, carefully monitored? If it wasn't packed full of sugar and artificial sweeteners, he wasn't allowed to eat it! It's a miracle he's not diabetic!"

"If he were dependent upon his handler for insulin, he would be much easier to control."

The deputy director's grip loosened involuntarily and he backed off a step.

"You'd really do that, wouldn't you?" His voice was soft, disbelieving. "You'd make him ill just so you could control him by withholding his medication. You _bastard!_"

"Yagami-_san_!" the receptionist interjected with a rather wretched look on her face. "Please!"

Soichiro took no notice. "What the hell kind of person are you?"

"Mr. Yagami, we never had any such intentions!" Roger protested. "I was merely attempting to point out a potentially useful side effect, but neither myself nor Watari would have gone out of our way to bring it about. A sick detective is of no use to anyone. Besides, we both know that L doesn't suffer from diabetes; he's fine."

"Yes, he's fine! He's so fine that he has screaming nightmares every night and is afraid of the dark! Of course, that couldn't be anything to do with the fact that he was buried alive when he was a child while investigating a case that you forced him into, now could it?"

Something very much like guilt flickered across Roger's face. "Mr. Yagami, if you knew how terrible Watari felt about that—"

"Good," Soichiro interrupted. "I'm glad he felt terrible, because I'd hate to think Watari was the kind of man who could be responsible for getting a thirteen year old child shot, kidnapped and buried alive and _not _feel a slight twinge of conscience! Did he also feel terrible about what happened to Ryuzaki in Kyoto, or did he just think of that as collateral damage?"

"L told you about Kyoto?" There was no mistaking it; Roger really was nervous now. "We thought he'd forgotten it."

Soichiro stared at him. "How the _hell_ could he forget something like that?"

"I keep telling you, L doesn't think or feel like we do. Oh, he was upset at the time, because _at the time_ is all that exists for him. He soon got over it. For him, out of sight really is out of mind."

"He didn't get over it, Roger," Soichiro countered. "He buried it."

"Mr. Yagami, I remember Kyoto. Watari was very concerned about it. He believed L would be in far greater danger all the time he was with that woman and away from his handler—"

"In danger of _what_? Taking control of his own life? Becoming a human being as opposed to a tool?" Soichiro shook his head, anger building up in him again, eating away the elation he'd felt at L's recovery. "Let me tell you what _I_ remember. I remember the look in his eyes when he spoke about her. I remember him risking recapture to go back and retrieve the only photograph he has of her. Most of all, I remember him crying into my chest when he spoke about how he wasn't able to save her. How Watari wouldn't _let_ him save her. You kidnapped him, destroyed his identity and memories, lied to him about his family, manipulated him into a high-risk job he never wanted and was far too young to be involved with!"

Roger fixed Soichiro with a stern look that the deputy director thought had probably unnerved quite a lot of recalcitrant children, but which had no effect on Soichiro himself.

"We are not monsters, Mr. Yagami. None of us have ever taken those children with any kind of sinister purpose in mind."

"You strip them of their identity and turn them into child spies and agents, putting them straight at the top of the hit list of every major crime syndicate in the world and forcing them into situations that would break most adults. That's quite sinister. Everything Ryuzaki had, _everything_ that you could take from him, you took! For the first time, he has the chance of a regular, safe life, Roger. You won't take away that. I'll see to that personally."

Turning, he strode away, not stopping or even slowing until he was outside L's door. Pausing for a few moments – he didn't want to storm in and have the young man asking awkward questions – Soichiro took a deep breath, then pushed open the door and stepped in.

L was lying in bed, a rather moody look on his face, staring out of the window.

"I see you're awake," Soichiro commented.

L glanced around, pulling a neutral expression over his face about half a second too late.

"Good evening, Yagami-_san_."

"You look pleased to see me," Soichiro remarked as he sat down on his customary chair.

The young man shrugged, eyes on his quilt. "Not really. I was just...ah...surprised."

Soichiro smiled a little. "I see. How long have you been awake?"

L grimaced. "This time? About ten minutes. They woke me up for breakfast, then I slept again until they woke me up for lunch. The food is appalling in here and there's no ice cream. I thought people in hospital were supposed to get ice cream. You do know it's thirty five degrees out there, right? If it gets much hotter in here, I'll burn!"

The deputy director reached into the trash and pulled out a wrapper, holding it up as Exhibit A. "Chocolate mochi ice cream?"

"That was Matsuda's."

"I know he shared it with you, Ryuzaki. This is Matsuda we're talking about."

L glared at him. "This place is _still_ like a sauna, Yagami-_san_. I want to leave."

"Yes, I'm sure you do. However, you're stuck here for the moment, until you're ready to go home," Soichiro reminded him, making a mental note to buy a small desk fan. L was right; the room really was hot and stuffy. "Why don't you open a window?"

"Because one of the nurses told me that Roger told _her _that I was mentally unstable and didn't always understand things, and so I'd try to climb out of it and that's why there were people around me all the time." Now L's voice held a note of iron control. "One did open it about fifteen centimeters this morning, but she didn't take her eyes off me and every time I so much as twitched, she was fussing around me. In the end I told her to shut the damn thing and have done with it."

"I see," Soichiro said again. "I'll talk to them, see if I can straighten it out. I might be able to get you moved to another hospital, but if not, you'll just have to put up with it until you're ready to come home to Tokyo."

"I'm ready," L insisted.

"I'll believe that when I hear it from a doctor."

"Oh, _doctors_." L glared at the ceiling and gestured for the bed remote. Soichiro passed it to him, waiting patiently as the young man moved himself upright again. "What do _they_ know about medicine? I'll be fine as soon as I get out of here."

Soichiro shook his head. They'd been through this once before, when L had sliced his hip open on a shard of glass and lied about it to get out of hospital faster, and the deputy director was damned if he was going to go through it again.

"Say what you like, Ryuzaki, but you're not leaving until a doctor tells me you can."

L slumped down in the bed with a grumpy look on his face. "Well, can I at _least_ have some books? A packed lunch? _Anything_?"

"Ah, now that I can help you with. Sachiko's determined to feed you, even if it's at a distance." Soichiro reached into his bag and pulled out a homemade bento. "Here."

L fumbled at it for a few minutes before finally managing to open it, then grabbed a handful of breaded pork and crammed it into his mouth.

"_Ryuzaki_..."

"'M _strvn_," L mumbled by way of an explanation. He swallowed his mouthful and reached in for another, but Soichiro put a pair of chopsticks in L's hand before the young man could manage it.

L gave him a long, long look. "_Yagami-san_..."

"Don't _Yagami-san_ me, Ryuzaki. If you want to eat, you can do so nicely."

The young man glared at him, pulled the chopsticks apart and started to use them with exaggerated daintiness.

"That's better."

"I would have thought you'd loosen up a little, since I haven't eaten in three weeks," L muttered.

"You were unconscious for most of that time, so I find it hard to believe you suffered much. It's not going to run away from you. Besides, if you eat it that quickly you'll just throw it back up."

L made a kind of grumbling noise that Soichiro had learned meant _I know you're right, but I'd die rather than admit it _and started to eat normally.

"When can I leave?" he demanded between bites.

"When the doctor says you can. I'm not taking you out of here before."

"Well, will you at least stop the sponge baths? I hate those! You know, I couldn't move or open my eyes but I could hear and feel everything that was going on. I'm perfectly capable of washing myself! _And_ cleaning my own teeth!"

Soichiro, who knew the young man's irritation was masking a very real aversion, felt a pang of sympathy for him. L was intensely private when it came to his own body; even a hand on the shoulder from someone he didn't know unsettled him. He would allow Soichiro to handle him, but it had taken some time for the deputy director to develop that level of trust, and even now he still ran the risk of being kicked if he caught L by surprise. Being stripped naked and rubbed down with a sponge, aware but unable to say or do anything about it must have been torture for the young man.

"I'll see what I can do," Soichiro answered quietly, "but I can't promise anything. I think the nurses will want to clean your injury themselves."

"That's alright. I don't mind them doing that if they let me wash the rest." L finished the bento and set the box neatly on one side with a blissful sigh. "That feels better. Thank you."

"You're welcome. How have you been today?"

"Fine," L answered, retrieving the bento and attempting to retrieve crumbs with the aid of a moistened fingertip. "I can usually handle today, Yagami-_san_. It's tomorrow that always frightens me. And it's boring here. Tell me about this new case of yours."

It was thrown out so casually that Soichiro had already opened his mouth to answer before he thought about it.

"I've been asked to—" he began, then stopped and stared hard at L. "Nice try."

L groaned. "Yagami-_san_! I'm bored out of my mind! Can't you at least give me a little hint?"

"Absolutely not. You're too weak to even _think_ about getting involved."

"I'm fine," L answered, attempting to struggle upright. He failed.

"I've heard that before," Soichiro answered. "Several times."

The young man subsided, although Soichiro knew him well enough to know that this was only a temporary surrender.

"Well, if you won't tell me about the case, then can you at _least_ tell me when you're leaving?"

"At the end of the month. Sachiko and Sayu will look after you while I'm gone, until you've fully recovered. Or you could stay with Matsuda, but given his place is more like a war zone right now, I wouldn't recommend it."

"Why can't I come with _you_? Even if I don't get involved in the case, you could use some company. A friendly face can be a wonderful thing when you're all alone in...well, wherever it is we're going to."

"There's no _we_, Ryuzaki."

L scowled at the ceiling. "Where are you going, anyway?"

There didn't seem any harm in telling him that much – if he didn't, L would just worm it out of someone else – and so Soichiro answered, "London."

The scowl vanished, to be replaced with a more interested expression. "Really? In that case, you could take me along as an interpreter, since you can't speak English."

"One will be arranged when I arrive."

"At a price, no doubt. Whereas _I'll_ do it for free. You won't even have to worry about accommodation, since I'll just check into the same hotel as you and pay for it myself."

"Thanks but no thanks, Ryuzaki. The best thing you can do for me right now is to concentrate on getting well, so I can fly out without worrying about you."

"I'm—"

"—fine," Soichiro chorused along with L. "No, Ryuzaki. I know you recover quickly, but even you can't shake off three weeks in a coma so fast."

"That would be an excellent argument, Yagami-_san_, if I were offering to help you investigate. I'm just offering to be your translator. I won't get in the way. You won't even know I'm around unless someone says something to you in English, or any other language. I can translate from an armchair if I have to."

"Mm. And yet I'm still unconvinced. This is a potentially very nasty case, Ryuzaki. I don't know what's involved or who we're dealing with, but I don't want to put you at risk."

L leaned back on the pillow, toying idly with his fingers. "So it's major. Major but it hasn't been reported in Japan or I'd have heard about it already; one of the nurses is a real gossip, so whatever it is, it's localized in southeast England, since you're going to be working out of London. England and Japan are on friendly terms and—ah!" He snapped his fingers, glancing at Soichiro with a rather smug light in his eyes. "This year is the four hundredth anniversary of the start of diplomatic and trading relations between our countries, isn't it?"

"Ryuzaki..."

"Though you can't be going for any kind of official dinner or ceremony, since if you were then you would just tell me without all this secrecy. Japan's obviously decided to send you over there, but our government doesn't stick its nose in where it's not wanted, especially not regarding police business. So something's happened in England and England's called on Japan for help. Japan responds by sending a detective. Not just any detective, but the deputy director of the NPA, so this is obviously serious. Part of that might be as a gesture of goodwill, but why would England call _Japan_? They have a police force of their own, and they have other allies who are much closer than we are."

"_Ryuzaki_..."

"So—of course." L fixed Soichiro with a look, the light in his eyes going from smug to triumphant. "It's happened before, hasn't it? It's happened in Japan but nowhere else. And we never got to the bottom of it, so England's afraid that whoever did whatever it was in Japan is now doing the _same_ whatever it is in England and they want our expertise."

Soichiro got to his feet. "Well, I'm not sitting here waiting for you to figure out the answer."

"You might as well, Yagami-_san_. I'm about ninety nine percent of the way there. So to summarize: it's a serious crime that occurred in Japan. The crime was never solved, and now the same crime is being committed in England. England has turned to Japan for aid. They've narrowed down the location and now they want to send someone in undercover but they want to know what they're dealing with first, and Japan has responded by flying you out there to deal with it personally. Am I right?"

Soichiro sat down again and stared at L, arms folded. "You're too smart for your own good sometimes."

A satisfied smile appeared on L's face. "I'll take that as a _yes_."

"Alright; yes. You're not strong enough to get involved in this one, but I won't deny anything you've said."

"Now I just have to work out why they can't get your help over the phone," L added. "In the meantime, Yagami-_san_, please help me stand up."

Soichiro shook his head. "No. I told you; you need to _rest_!"

"I also need to use the bathroom and I don't think I'm strong enough to make it there by myself."

"I see. Well, you don't need to worry about that; the nurses have taken care of it."

L squeezed his eyes shut, an agonized look on his face. "_Please_ don't tell me that means what I think it means."

"They fitted you with a catheter."

The young man opened his eyes again, the agonized look becoming more pronounced. "I asked you not to tell me!"

"Would you rather have wet yourself and been changed like an infant?"

L's eyes widened and he shook his head hard.

"No, that's what I thought."

"Then can you help me sit up? I mean without using the mattress?"

Soichiro folded his arms. "I suppose if I refuse, you'll just wait until I leave and do it yourself."

"Yes."

The deputy director sighed. "Alright. But if you feel dizzy or your injury hurts, tell me _immediately_. Do you understand?"

"_Yes_, Yagami-_san_." There was a savage bite in L's tones now. "I'm a freak, not an idiot. Though those damn nurses don't seem to see it that way."

"I'll talk to the nurses tomorrow. Come on. Give me your hand. We'll take it slowly."

L hesitated, then gripped the offered hand and pulled himself into a sitting position, swinging his legs gingerly over the side of the bed, swaying a little.

"Are you alright?" Soichiro asked.

No answer.

"Ryuzaki?" The deputy director raised his voice a little. "Are you alright?"

L shook his head vaguely. "No. Dizzy."

"Alright." Soichiro pushed L back down on the bed as he spoke. "Alright. Just relax."

"Can't." L's breathing increased and he attempted to sit up again. "Roger's here. Have to get out."

Soichiro caught hold of his shoulder and held him down. "No you don't. Roger is not any kind of threat to you, Ryuzaki."

L looked away and didn't answer. He didn't attempt to free himself either, which told Soichiro more than anything how exhausted the young man really was.

"I'll talk to the nurses," he said aloud. "It's possible that once you're strong enough, you might be able to go home to recover, so long as someone checks on you regularly. And I'll put a guard back on the door so Roger can't get in."

"He'll find a way," L said very quietly.

"I think he's a little old to be climbing buildings and swinging through windows, and I can't think how else he's going to get in here. Stop worrying about it."

"I'll stop worrying about it when you tell me you have what I asked you to find in my apartment," L retorted. "Do you have it?"

Soichiro hesitated, then shook his head. "Not yet. I'll get it as soon as I get back."

"Please. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't vital."

"I know. I'll find it tonight. I promise. Do you want me to bring it here?"

"No!" L's gaze fixed on Soichiro's in mute appeal. "No, just...find it."

"Alright, if that's what you want."

"Thank you." Even as the deputy director watched, L relaxed visibly, yawning and half curling up in bed. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Yes. Go to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow and Sachiko promised to send some more food along."

"Will you bring chicken this time? And strawberries?"

"I'll see what I can do. Now sleep. The more rest you get, the sooner you can get out."

Soichiro rose and walked over to the door, pausing once to look over his shoulder just in time to see L looking at him with one eye, an eye which he quickly shut as soon as he saw Soichiro watching him.

"Good_night_, Ryuzaki." His tone wasn't as severe as it might otherwise have been; if L was feeling playful, then it couldn't be too long before he was allowed out. The injury was healing nicely and there hadn't even been any infection. With any luck, L would be safely home and out of the clutches of Wammy's House very soon.

* * *

As soon as Soichiro arrived back at the old HQ, he headed straight for L's apartment. Whatever the young man wanted him to find, it must be important for him to be so insistent.

There were several pairs of jeans on the floor in front of the washing machine, and it took Soichiro a good few minutes of systematic pocket searching before he turned up anything at all, and then it was nothing more exciting than two small brass keys on a plain ring.

He searched the rest of the jeans just in case L had meant him to find something else, but the pockets were empty apart from a five hundred yen coin, which Soichiro placed on the counter for L to find when he came back.

_Well, that's one down. Now for the bathroom._

L's bathroom was immaculate, to the point where if it hadn't been for the numerous bottles of bubble bath and huge fluffy towels, Soichiro would have been prepared to swear nobody used it. Opening the wall cabinet, he managed to prise the false back off after several attempts, revealing a large cavity beyond and a journal inside. Carefully, Soichiro lifted it out, brushing dust off the cover, and studied it. He couldn't do much more, since the book itself was secured with a padlock whose writing on the body proudly proclaimed it to be an Abus. The hasp was encased in the same metal as the body of the padlock, making cutting through it almost impossible, and the padlock itself was bigger than most.

_And I suppose this is the key_. Soichiro pulled the ring out of his pocket and studied it curiously, then inserted one key into the bottom of the padlock and unlocked it. Not sure what he was going to find, he opened the book to the first page and saw a torn scrap of paper addressed to him in L's writing.

_Yagami-san,_

_This is my venting book. If I didn't specifically ask you to read it, then you don't need to know what's inside. Please respect my privacy on this._

_Ryuzaki_

Soichiro stared at it for a few moments, then closed the book again reluctantly and clicked the padlock shut. L hadn't asked him to read the book, just to find it.

_And presumably hide it somewhere else. _He'd have to ask L about that next time he saw him. In the meantime...Soichiro studied L's 'venting book'. It was too thick to be hidden easily; he'd have to find somewhere safe to put it until L wanted it again.


	3. Escape

**AiyanaMiyuki: **Heh, yep. Roger got told XD At least for the moment...

**PianoCatRulez:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it :D

**Mystery Reviewer AKA Guest: **Thanks :)

* * *

**JULY 28**

_London_.

The word kept hammering in L's mind over and over.

_I'm going to London_.

Of course, Soichiro probably wouldn't be very keen that idea, but L could get around that later. Maybe if he found a few good leads on this case, the deputy director wouldn't kill him _too_ much.

_Even if he doesn't like it, he can't send me back very easily. _

_But he can make us feel about half an inch tall,_ his other mind pointed out. _And last time you defied him, we wound up in here!_

_Oh, shut up_. L considered his options. Watari had been very thorough when it came to getting passports for him, and he had several from different countries, all obtained in exchange for some service L had rendered, and L knew exactly where they were kept. With a UK passport in hand, he wouldn't need to screw about with visas, so that part would be alright.

_Fine. Now, where can I find a jet and a pilot?_

_How about Narita airport? I understand they've got quite an impressive collection there._

_Your advice is much unappreciated, _L thought back irritably. _If I go via Narita, Roger will be able to tell which flight I was on and simply have someone waiting for me at the other end! I doubt Yagami-san will let me ride with him, so I'll have to get a separate flight. Let's see what there is online._

_Not yet. It's five to Roger. We can't let him know we're even thinking about leaving._

L glanced at the clock on his wall with an inward groan. Roger wasn't here every day – Matsuda in particular always kept him out – but he hadn't been by since the day before yesterday, and L was certain he'd be in today. The old man never hurt or threatened him, but even his presence made L uneasy and left him restless and distracted for several hours afterward. This always took a while, since Roger's methods of convincing L to come back with him consisted of his sitting there for several hours and talking at him. He also had a definite advantage over Soichiro in that he didn't have to go to work and his hotel was only a twenty minute walk from the hospital.

The five minutes ticked off and at ten o'clock precisely, Roger walked in without knocking and seated himself in the same chair Soichiro used, which didn't make L particularly inclined to be nice to him. The deputy director had told him to be calm and mature when dealing with Roger, but the old man really wasn't making that easy.

_Who does he think he is, sitting in Yagami-san's chair?_

"I have nothing to say to you, Roger," L said in a tight little voice that he meant for a calm controlled one, "and I don't want to see you. Please leave."

Settling himself more comfortably in bed, he returned to his reading.

"What's this?" Without waiting for a reply, Roger reached over and plucked L's book out of his grasp, reading the title. "_The Da Vinci Code_? L, you have far better things to do than read this nonsense."

"Give it back!" L grabbed for the book but Roger held it out of reach.

"You've acquired a lot of bad habits, it seems. We'll have to do something about that, L."

"Don't call me that." L's voice was flat. "Call me Ryuzaki, or call me Ikeda, but don't call me L. I'm not in that line of work anymore. And I'm not a child anymore either, Roger. You have no right to show up and decide what I'm going to read, how I'm going to behave or where I'm going to live. I'm twenty three years old and capable of making my own decisions. And I decide not to go back with you. Now give me back my book and get out."

Roger sighed. "L, you know you're not equipped to live in the real world. How would you go about paying bills, or taxes?"

"Yagami-_san_ will teach me, like he taught me everything else."

The old man was quiet for a few moments. Finally he said, "Have you ever considered the possibility that you may be something of a nuisance to Yagami? You seem to have taken up a lot of his time."

"That's Yagami-_san_ to you, Roger, and no, I haven't considered that, because he's my friend." The word felt strange in his mouth and L worked his tongue a couple of times. For the best part of his life, friends were things that only happened to other people. "Though I don't suppose _you'd_ understand that, Roger, since I personally doubt you've ever had a friend in your life."

"Watari was my friend," Roger said very quietly. The shadow in his eyes wasn't something that could be faked.

"Watari has been dead for nearly two years." L made another, successful grab for the book and went back to his reading. "You are not my handler. I don't have a handler and if I did, it wouldn't be you or anyone else affiliated with Wammy's House."

"That decision isn't for you to make, since you don't know the potential candidates as well as I do. I can promise you that you won't be working with Sato though; he's been dismissed as a handler for illicit behavior." Roger paused. "Speaking of which, I expect you to transfer every penny of the money you stole back to Wammy's House."

"That wasn't stealing, Roger; that was ten years' worth of back wages. I don't want to give my hard-earned money back to you, and I fail to see how you're going to make me. I rather doubt a foreigner will have much luck gaining access to the bank details of a Japanese national in Japan, and if you're thinking of calling the police, remember that the deputy director of the NPA quite likes me."

"That's just show, L. He was only being polite."

"You delude yourself with that, if it makes you feel better," L answered, although he couldn't stop the sudden pang that shot through him. Roger had just given voice to a very private fear that L had never quite managed to banish completely.

"We'll have plenty of time to discuss this on the flight back to England. I was speaking with the nurses before I came in. They said you can be discharged tomorrow."

_After only a week? That's fast work._

_You haven't been here a week; you've been here a month, _his other mind reminded him._ You were still healing while you were unconscious._

L didn't look up from his book. "Thank you for telling me. I'll notify Yagami-_san_ as soon as I can."

"Yagami is leaving for England tomorrow as well, L. He won't have time to collect you _and_ take you back. You'll be coming back with me as we arranged."

_Ah. In other words, we have to get out of here tonight._

"_We_ didn't arrange anything, Roger, and _I'm_ not going anywhere with you." L spoke the words automatically, mind already working. He was under no illusions as to how this could be accomplished. He was a lot better than he'd been before – now he was awake and alert all day and he was sure he could walk to the nearest station without any problem, so long as he took it slowly – but he was in no fit state to fight his way out. He'd have to sneak away somehow, and since this place was full of nurses during the day, he'd have to sneak away after dark, when they were on a skeleton crew.

"L, what do you think Watari would have wanted?"

L shrugged, turning the page. "I've no idea what Watari would have wanted and after Kyoto, I can't say I particularly care either. Besides, he's dead. What does it matter what he'd want, since he's not in any position to have an opinion on the subject?"

"He did everything he could for you, you know that. He only had your best interests at heart."

"In that case, he should have left me where I was," L retorted flatly. "You should have left _all_ those children where they were, Roger. If you try and force me back to Wammy's House, I'll bring it down around your ears. I promise."

Roger sighed. "L, you're being childish."

"It's hard to be anything else when you insist on treating me like a brain-dead toddler." L shifted his weight, still more interested in his book than in Roger.

"You are the best to ever come out of the House. There are so many people out there you could help. What are you going to do, just let them suffer? Tell them you'd rather read some cheap third-rate novel than save their lives? Their _children's_ lives? People are depending on you, L."

"Then make them _stop_ depending on me," L grated, not looking up. "Get another one of your brainwashed pets to do it, Roger. How about Near? The House did a very good job on him, from what I've seen."

"Oh, Near is an exemplary graduate," Roger agreed pleasantly. "Sadly, he's taken up with his duties at the White House. We need a good field agent and as I said, you're the best we've ever produced."

"You make me sound like something that came off a factory line," L retorted. "Then again, I suppose that's accurate. You take children, break them down, retrain them and ship them out as agents."

Roger sighed again. "I see Yagami-_san_'s been feeding you his own rather erroneous conclusions. You were fine before you met him."

"No, I was in enforced isolation with no real moral compass before I met him. No one else ever taught me to think in terms of right and wrong; only legal and illegal. As far as Watari was concerned, the ends justified the means. He helped me kidnap Misa, he only really got angry after Kyoto, or when I went out for some fresh air, or wanted to eat something besides candy. His priorities were a little skewed, wouldn't you say? Now please leave. I'm not going with you and nothing you say will change my mind."

Roger sighed again, getting to his feet. "L, as I have stated ad nauseam, you have no choice in the matter. You're not capable of making these kinds of decisions for yourself."

"But you seem to think me capable of making more important decisions for every police force in the world," L countered.

"You have never been taught to look after yourself."

L shut his book with a snap. "No, I was never taught. But I learned. I learned when Wammy's House cut me loose to die. I learned on the streets of Japan. I'm working on day to day things like paying bills, but I'm not the helpless, completely sheltered individual I was with Watari. And I'm not going back with you either."

"Yes you are, L, and if I have to bring a nurse in to sedate you tomorrow morning, then that's what I'll do. This can be as pleasant or unpleasant as you choose. I'll be back tomorrow."

Roger turned and walked out silently, closing the door behind him.

For a long time, L couldn't focus. He tried to read, but the words on the page all blurred into one. Even the TV didn't help. He wanted to go for a walk outside, but there was no way the nurses would allow that and so he had to make do with lying in bed feeling irritated. He wished Soichiro would turn up, but the deputy director had been there yesterday and the day before and anyway, when he _did_ visit it was always in the early evening.

_Everything always seems so much simpler when he's around. So much calmer._

_That's just because he's always so calm._

_No it isn't_, L countered. _Roger's always calm, but he makes me nervous._

_Yes, because you don't trust Roger, but you trust Yagami-san. And if he shows up, you know he'll help us._

_No he won't. He wants me to stay here. He told me so himself._

_All the time we're not in danger of being kidnapped and whisked around the world, yes, of course he does. He'd make an exception for this. And Roger told you the nurses were discharging you tomorrow._

_Then we'll have to get out before tomorrow comes._ L got out of bed and headed over to the bag against the far wall, pulling out a clean t-shirt, overshirt and pair of jeans. He'd asked Matsuda to bring him some spare clothes for when he was well enough to leave, and the detective had been happy to oblige. He'd also brought a picnic lunch and, which L appreciated far more just then, a thermos flask of iced tea. That had been drunk with lunch, of course, but Matsuda had forgotten to take the empty flask away with him and L had been very careful not to mention it.

The young man went into the bathroom and turned the cold faucet on full, waiting until he thought it was as cold as it was ever going to get, then filled the flask. There. Now he was dressed and he had a flask of water to take with him. That should be enough. Sachiko would feed him when he showed up, so he could afford not to take any food with him. That just left his books.

L stared at the books in question for a long time. There was no way he could take them all – there were fourteen of them there by now – but on the other hand, there was no way he could leave them for Roger to throw out. He loved his books. They were the first things anyone had ever given him that weren't linked to his solving a case.

_And Yagami-san bought me that one._ L reached out and lifted the hardback copy of _Demons and Angels_ off the nightstand, caressing it lovingly. With the possible exception of Sachiko, Soichiro rarely bought anyone presents outside of the normal birthday celebrations, and the young man was sure he'd only done it this time to celebrate L's recovery.

_I have to take it. I can't leave it here. Roger will just throw out everything he finds_.

He thought about this for a few seconds, then opened Matsuda's laptop, loaded Word and typed a note in large letters.

_Matsuda-san,_

_Thank you for the loan of these books and DVDs._

_Ryuzaki_

There. That should do it. Roger wouldn't throw the things out if he thought they belonged to someone else.

A further thought occurred to him and he went back to the note and replaced _Ryuzaki_ with _Shogo Ikeda_. Hopefully that name would spark off memories of the nationwide hunt for him fifteen odd years ago, and Roger would have some very awkward explaining to do. If not...well, he was still no worse off than he'd been before.

Closing the laptop – he'd open it before he went, no point revealing his hand before he had to – L sat on the bed and stared out of the window. Now he'd made a plan and was ready, all he had to do was wait. He didn't even have to make a secret about his packing; after all, Roger himself had said he was being discharged the next day. He allowed the nurses to examine him and change the dressings on his wound when they came in that evening, waited until he was sure they'd finished on his wing, then took the book Soichiro had given him and placed it in a plastic bag along with _The Da Vinci Code_, set up the laptop so his message to Matsuda was clearly visible, crossed over to the door and opened it. He paused for a few seconds, gathering his strength, then stepped through and started down the corridor.

"And just where do you think _you're_ going?" Aizawa demanded from behind him.

L jumped and spun around, then swore and leaned against a wall to wait for the spots to clear out of his vision.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" he demanded in an undertone, his voice echoing oddly in his ears.

Aizawa stared at him, arms folded. "No, I'm trying to stop you from overdoing it. Yagami-_bucho_ put me here just in case you tried to sneak out or Roger tried to sneak in. Now get back to bed."

He reached out toward L's shoulder, stopping just short of the point where he would have to make physical contact.

L didn't move, just stood there looking at Aizawa with a faint smile on his face. Time for Plan B.

"Will you sit with me?" he asked.

Aizawa drew his hand back, staring at L. "I...what?"

The young man looked down, rubbing one foot on his leg. "Even freaks like me enjoy talking to people from time to time."

"Yagami-_bucho_ ordered me to guard—"

"—_me_," L finished for him. "At least if you're in the same room as me, I won't be able to leave."

Aizawa folded his arms again, shifting his weight onto his back foot. "Right. Except you _want_ to leave, so why would you go out of your way to make sure that doesn't happen?"

"I wouldn't," L answered matter-of-factly. "I'm just trying to think of a good reason that might persuade you to remain in my company for longer than three seconds."

"Ryuzaki—" Aizawa began.

"You're going to tell me that we're not friends. You're right, Aizawa-_san,_ we're not. But I've never thought of us as enemies either. And surely a few minutes' conversation, long enough for you to have a cold drink of water, say—" L hefted the plastic bag containing his books and flask— "wouldn't hurt."

Watching the man, he could pinpoint the exact moment when Aizawa surrendered. The heat wasn't so bad in the corridor, but the air conditioning that was on would have left the older man's mouth and throat dry.

"Water?" Aizawa echoed.

"Yes. You must be thirsty, since you've been guarding me out here all this time. I can't help feeling a little responsible. Please."

The detective sighed. "If I agree to this, will you go back to your room?"

"Yes. We can go right now if you want. Only please leave the door open; it's so hot tonight and I can't open my windows. Maybe a breeze will help me sleep."

Aizawa scrutinized him through narrowed eyes for several minutes, then apparently came to the conclusion that he could see and stop L easily enough if the young man made another break for freedom.

"Alright. But don't let me see you wandering around the hospital again or Yagami-_bucho_ will kill the pair of us."

"Don't worry; I won't," L assured him and gestured toward his room. "Shall we?"

Aizawa kept a wary eye on him as the two of them entered L's room and sat down, L on the bed, Aizawa on a chair.

"You really do look thirsty." L took his thermos out of the bag and held it out. "Why don't you have some water? I was going to take it with me, but it looks like I won't be needing it now."

Aizawa studied the thermos without taking it, then raised his gaze to L's.

"After you," he said pointedly.

Smiling a little, L gulped down a mouthful of water, then offered it to Aizawa again.

"Please. I know you don't like me, Aizawa, so I appreciate you watching over me like this." It was a nuisance that the man had this shift in particular; had it been Matsuda, L was sure he could have wheedled him into giving him a ride. "If you drink it, I'd feel better about you being here. And I promise not to try and leave if you do drink it."

Aizawa eyed him, suspicion written in every line of his face. "How can I trust you?"

L spread his hands to the side. "Aizawa-_san_, I've saved your boss' life several times, and his daughter's. I support the NPA, particularly those members who stayed to fight Kira. How can you _not_ trust me? And you've just seen me drink some of that water, so you know it's not drugged."

The older man hesitated, then took the thermos and raised it to his mouth. "You'll stay in your room? Because I don't need Yagami-_bucho_ on my back about letting you wander around and having a relapse."

"I just promised not to try and escape, didn't I?"

"Escape is a harsh word, Ryuzaki, but alright." Aizawa gulped down the water with the air of someone performing an unpleasant but necessary duty, then handed the thermos back. "Thank you. Now, are you satisfied?"

"Extremely," L answered, taking the thermos. "Goodnight, Aizawa-_san._ Please don't forget to leave the door open. Maybe the fresh air from the corridor will help me sleep."

Aizawa didn't answer or acknowledge this; instead he just turned and walked out into the corridor without another word. A few moments later, L heard him pacing up and down, the click of his shoes echoing in the corridor.

_Ten paces out, ten back. _It must be very dull, standing there. Hardly surprising Aizawa turned to movement to keep himself alert. L checked his bag to make sure everything was there, then sat down on his bed, listening hard and waiting.

Five minutes went by.

_Did it work? It must have worked!_

Ten minutes.

_Of course it worked_, his other mind insisted. _These things take time. You just have to be patient, that's all_.

Fifteen minutes. On an impulse, L pulled out some fresh clothing from his holdall and changed into it. At least then Aizawa was less likely to recognize him immediately.

Twenty minutes.

_What's he got, an iron bladder? He just drank an entire thermos of water! He's got to go soon!_

Twenty five minutes.

_Maybe I should flush the toilet a few times, see if that speeds things up._

Thirty minutes.

_There's one thing you haven't taken into account; he might not go to the public restrooms at all. He may decide to come back in and use yours._

L shook his head. _No he won't. He won't risk waking me. He'll figure that if Roger wants to come in, he's going to have to come in via the same corridor that Aizawa will be using to go out, and that he can be finished and back here before Roger or anyone from Wammy's has time to do anything serious._

_Yeah. And we'll kick the teeth in of anyone who tries!_

_That too._

Forty. At last L heard what he'd been waiting for; the sound of Aizawa retreating along the corridor and not returning.

_About time!_

Moving silently, he stepped out of his room again and followed Aizawa along the corridor, walking with his back straight. That, plus the fact he'd changed clothes and was wearing a baseball cap pulled down over his face meant that even if the detective turned around, he'd hopefully just dismiss him as another visitor.

His worries proved unfounded, however, as Aizawa never looked around, but kept walking until he reached the public restroom. L hung back for a few seconds, just to make sure the door was closed and Aizawa wouldn't catch a glimpse of him walking past, then strolled on down the corridor and into the reception.

"Excuse me!" The receptionist's voice rang out and L cringed, hoping it hadn't carried as far as Aizawa. Of course, there was very little chance of that, but in his keyed up state, even a whisper was too loud for his peace of mind. "Excuse me, but visiting hours ended some time ago."

Putting on his best smile, L moved over to the reception desk. "I know. I'm sorry, but I was visiting my friend and I just fell asleep. I haven't been getting much rest lately; there's a big project going on at work. The nurses usually wake me up; I can't think why they didn't this time. Please excuse me; I have to get to the station."

He bowed rather awkwardly, then walked out the hospital and set off down the road, limping slightly. He took it slowly; his chest was healing well, but he'd spent three weeks unconscious and another week recuperating. Much as he hated admitting to any form of weakness, even he had to admit he wasn't in any shape to rush and he had no idea how far it was to the station. Better to pace himself and rest when he needed to.

Several minutes' walking brought him to a bench opposite a store that proclaimed "Copying Service" on a large blue billboard. L sat down, breathing rapidly, and glanced back over his shoulder.

_Thirty meters? How can I have taken—_he glanced at his watch—_six minutes forty seven seconds to walk a lousy thirty meters?_

_Easy: you haven't taken a whole lot of exercise since you got shot a month ago. Your problem is going to be if Roger's sitting up and happens to see you walking past his hotel._

_No, he won't. He'd have to be on the ground floor and have exceptionally good eyesight to spot us. _L pushed himself to his feet and headed on, moving from one blue and white stripy street light to the next. Even through the slowly building daze in his mind, L thought Kofu was quite a pretty city, at least this part of it.

_I'll have to come back here when everything's sorted._

L struggled to his feet and continued on, moving not quite at random, trying to drag the route out of his foggy brain. After what seemed like a long, long time, he came to what he'd been searching for; a street sign pointing him to Kofu station via a road which was flanked on one side by a white wall with cute little bunches of grapes painted on it. Yes, he really _would_ have to come back here.

_If I ever manage to get out of here_. His head was swimming alarmingly and he had to lean against the wall. He barely registered the arrival of the sleek black car until it pulled up right next to him and the passenger window slid down.

"Get in," Aizawa said curtly from the driver's seat.

L stared at him, mind fuzzy. "How did you know it was me? I kept my back straight the whole time." He knew that much was true; his spine was already whimpering.

Aizawa sighed. "And if I walked hunched over like you, would _you _think I was someone else? You really thought that I wouldn't recognize you just because you straightened up and changed your clothes? I'm many things, but I'm not blind. Now get in the car."

"No. I have to get to the station before Roger finds me."

There was a short pause, then the detective said in a slightly different tone of voice, "Roger already knows where you are."

"Yes, and he told me that he was going to take me back to England tomorrow. Or today. I chose not to be kidnapped, Aizawa-_san_." L kept moving forward, no longer looking at the older man.

Aizawa drove slowly on, staying next to L. "So I suppose you want me to drive you all the way back to Tokyo. Never mind that Yagami-_bucho_ will probably kill you and fire _me_."

"No, I want you to go back and stall Roger when he turns up tomorrow morning so that he'll think I only just escaped and waste his time searching local places for me. If you want to drive me anywhere, then I could really do with a ride to Kofu station."

"Fine. Get in."

L slowed to a stop and stared at him, eyes narrowed slightly. "Why should I trust someone who hates me?"

"Because I've never betrayed you before. You're the one who broke his word."

L didn't move. "A tornado has never sucked me up before, Aizawa-_san_. That doesn't mean that it never will. And I didn't break my word, as you'd know if you stopped to think. I promised I wouldn't let you see me walking around the hospital, and you didn't. I never said anything about _outside_ the hospital."

"Oh right. And what about your _other_ promise? You said you wouldn't try to escape, remember?"

"The key word in that promise being _try_," L answered composedly. "Since I'm outside the hospital, I would say I escaped rather well, wouldn't you?"

Without answering, Aizawa turned the engine off and got out the car, slamming the door, and started toward L, who held up his hand.

"That's close enough."

"Do you really think I'm going to hurt you, Ryuzaki?"

L shrugged, never taking his eyes off Aizawa. "Maybe. Like I said, we're not friends. How do I know what you're going to do?"

Aizawa stopped moving. "I'll rephrase the question then. Do you think I'm a thug or a bully?"

"Well, if you're asking me to choose between those two options—"

"You know what I mean. Do you?"

L stared at him. The first and most honest answer was that he didn't know; on the last few occasions when he and Aizawa had been alone, it hadn't gone especially well.

"I think the ends justify the means as far as you're concerned, Aizawa-_san_. I...no. I don't think you'd resort to violence to win an argument or to make your point."

"Then get in the damn car."

L drew himself up a little. He hoped it wouldn't come to blows between the pair of them. He really hoped it wouldn't because if that happened, then not only would he be lucky not to rip open his bullet wound and bleed out right there on the sidewalk but Soichiro wasn't likely to forgive L assaulting one of his men.

"Is Matsuda-_san_ your friend?" he asked.

A look of angry bafflement crossed Aizawa's face. "What? What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Is he, though?"

"Yes, of course he is. Why?"

L leaned against the wall, eyes narrowed a little. "Because he told me about the Izumo incident. He went to you for help and you took his predicament and you twisted it to serve your own ends. You didn't help him because you wanted to. You helped him because it gave you the best chance of manipulating him later."

Aizawa's face darkened. "First of all, Matsuda didn't go to me for help; he worked his way around the whole of the department before he reached my desk. Second, we agreed on the terms before I went: he would reimburse me for travel and accommodation expenses and in return for my not putting a time limit on his paying me back, he would buy me lunch – nothing expensive, just a couple of hundred yen bento or something – every day until the debt was cleared."

L folded his arms and stared hard at Aizawa. The lack of movement was helping to clear his head and his mind was starting to work again. "And at which point did the two of you agree that you were going to take a green car down to Shimane prefecture? Or that you would take a royal suite in a five star hotel for two nights as opposed to an overnight stop in a cheap two star accommodation? And then after that other little incident where he stuck his neck out for you and basically saved you from getting fired, if not arrested, you weren't even grateful enough to wipe out his debt. You go out of your way to needle and make fun of him for your own amusement, since his feelings are no more than game pieces to you. If you treat your friends so badly, Aizawa-_san_, why the _hell_ should I believe you're going to treat me any better?"

Aizawa stared at him for a few minutes, then abruptly spun on his heel, stalked back to the car, got in and accelerated away, leaving L on the sidewalk. Satisfied that the detective wouldn't be back for a while, L walked on, one hand on the side of the wall for support. He had no idea how long he walked, only that it seemed far too long to him.

A sign pointed him down a main road and L followed it. Breathing was becoming harder and at first he was afraid he'd pulled the stitches or ruptured something inside him, but a quick feel of his chest reassured him on that score.

_And if you had ruptured something, I doubt you'd still be standing. You're fine. You can make it._

_What if Aizawa went to get Roger?_

_Don't be stupid. He wouldn't do a thing like that._

The thought was impossible to dislodge, however, and L did his best to pick up the pace, breath rasping harshly in his chest as he stumbled along, following road signs that seemed to be directing him around in circles until finally, _finally_, they deposited him at a large building bearing the legend _Kofu Station._

_Good. Now get in and get on that train before Roger comes along._

Renewed hope gave L the strength to walk inside and over to the board, stumbling only once or twice. His feet seemed to have grown too big for his body and L couldn't figure out how that had happened. All he knew was that it was damn annoying.

The station names on the board kept blurring in and out of focus as he looked at them and making his head hurt whenever he tried to read them. In the end, he settled for buying the cheapest ticket available, secure in the knowledge he could always adjust the fare at the other end. Takao was bound to have a machine; most stations did these days.

Ticket in hand, L wove away from the machines and into the waiting room, where he collapsed on the first chair he saw and bent over to put his head between his legs, hoping everything would clear soon.

"Sir?" Someone shook him very gently by the shoulder. "Are you alright? Can I call an ambulance for you?"

L's other mind prodded him into something approaching wakefulness and he blinked his eyes open.

_Answer him, you idiot! Or do you want him to get you whisked back to the hospital you just escaped?_

"Dizzy." L's voice was hoarse. "Maybe too much to drink."

Carefully, he sat up and tilted his head back, opening his eyes to focus on a station employee. The rest seemed to have done some good; L felt weak and lightheaded, but he was fully aware of himself and his surroundings again.

"Thank you for your concern," he said slowly. He had to speak slowly, otherwise the words became slurred. "I'm fine. I just have to get back."

The man didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry I woke you, but the first train's due in five minutes."

_I didn't realize I was asleep_, L said, or thought he did.

"Sir? The train's coming. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. Yes. Fine. Thank you for waking me." There was a long pause, then L forced out the words he hated saying most of all. "Please help me."

Thankfully the man didn't ask any questions, but lifted L out of the chair, supporting his weight, and over to the platform.

"I'd go to the hospital if I were you. I think there might have been a problem with whatever it was you ate or drank."

L managed a nod. "I will. Thank you for your help. I'll be fine now."

At least, he hoped he would. He was dreading having to change trains, but at least he could take his time a little. Even after Roger discovered his departure, the old man would have no idea which train he'd taken or which route he'd chosen to get back to Tokyo.

_Of course, he could just get in a car and drive to the old HQ_, his other mind pointed out.

_If he does, it'll take him a while. It takes Yagami-san about two hours to get here from Tokyo, and he knows the way. And the first thing Roger will do is question Aizawa, then he'll waste time talking to Yagami-san. Then, of course, he'll have to find a car. A taxi driver probably wouldn't take him that far. There's every chance we'll be back at the old headquarters before Roger. And we can certainly get a taxi from Kudanshita._

The train pulled in and L allowed the station employee to help him to a seat, barely aware of what was happening, mind ticking over. He hoped Roger hadn't already planned for this contingency.

_No, he can't have. There's only one of him, and as far as he knows, you're still asleep in bed. The only person who knows you've gone is Aizawa and he won't tell anyone. Or if he does, it would be Matsuda or Yagami-san. Aizawa's plenty of things, but he's not a traitor._

As the doors hissed closed and the train began to move. L felt a weight roll off his mind, taking a good chunk of his adrenalin with it. Getting to his feet, he stumbled along the seat to the far corner, where he slumped down, leaning against the wall, and was sound asleep before the train had pulled out of the station.


	4. Of Trolleys and Case Files

**Aiyana: **Yeah, L's getting there, but he's still got a long way to go :)

**Chibi Tora: **You're welcome XD Glad you enjoyed it

**PianoCatRulez: **Heh, thanks XD And your wait is over; here's more ;)

* * *

**JULY 29**

"He _what_?" Soichiro demanded, staring at his phone.

"Left," Aizawa answered. "I caught up with him halfway to the station and offered him a ride, but he turned me down. Rather emphatically," he added in a quieter voice.

"Why didn't you park somewhere and meet him at the station then?" Soichiro said.

"Because I didn't know what he'd do if he saw me and I didn't want to make a scene. I asked the station employee and he said Ryuzaki got safely onto the train. I think he's heading for you."

"I see. Thank you for telling me, Aizawa. I'll keep an eye out for him." Soichiro ended the call and felt a wave of irritation wash over him. Why did L have to pick today of all days to pull a stunt like this?

_Well, if he thinks he's coming to England with me, he's very much mistaken._

Soichiro reached out and pushed the call button for the elevator and dropped his phone back into his pocket. Two seconds later, it rang.

The deputy director pulled it out again, already knowing who was on the other end even before he saw the caller ID.

Opening the phone, he brought it up to his ear and said in a monotone, "Ryuzaki?"

"I'll make this quick, Yagami-_san_. I'm coming to England with you."

"I'll make this equally quick, Ryuzaki: no you're damn well not!" Soichiro told him in a tone that brooked no argument. "If I have to alert the staff at Narita airport to keep you off the plane, then that's what I'll do. Now where are you?"

"On my way up to you."

"Yes, I know that much," Soichiro said bitingly. "How close—"

There was a _ding_ and the elevator doors in front of him slid open, revealing a shivering and very sheepish looking L who half stepped, half stumbled out and proceeded to lurch into the wall.

"—are you?" Soichiro finished wearily. Well, at least he wouldn't have to go and fetch him.

"About sixty four centimeters, Yagami-_san_."

The deputy director closed his phone and stared at L, who didn't seem inclined to meet his gaze.

"Have you gone completely insane?" Soichiro demanded.

The young man appeared to be giving this serious thought. At last he said, "I don't think so, no."

"Alright then, next question. What the _hell_ do you think you're playing at?"

L shifted his feet. "I'm not playing at anything, Yagami-_san_. I just had to get out of hospital. I had a good sleep on the train, so I'm fine."

"I might believe that, if you weren't pale and sweating and clinging onto the wall for support."

L glanced at the wall, then pushed himself away from it a little too hard and collided with the opposite wall.

"Come on." Soichiro caught hold of the young man's shoulders, steadying him. "Sit down."

He guided L over to one of the chairs that lined the wall at regular intervals and pushed L gently down into it. "Are you in pain?"

"A little. I'm coming to England with you."

"No you're not," Soichiro said again. "Why didn't you get in the car with Aizawa?"

"Because he hates me and I thought he'd just take me right back to Roger."

The deputy director sat down next to L and sighed. "Ryuzaki, I know you've been through a lot, but you're going to have to learn to trust other people besides me."

L looked surprised. "I do. I trust Matsuda."

"I was talking about Aizawa. You know he'd never betray you. If you really didn't feel comfortable getting in the car with him, why didn't you ask to borrow his phone last night and call me, instead of sneaking out like you did? How did you get past Aizawa, anyway?"

"Gave him a thermos of water, made sure he drank it all and then let nature take its course. It took longer than I expected. Aizawa-_san _seems to be very absorbent."

"I see. Let me have a look at your chest."

L lifted his t-shirt enough for Soichiro to examine the wound. To Soichiro's relief, it didn't seem to be any worse following the young man's little sojourn and he didn't think there was much wrong with L beyond exhaustion.

"What time are we going to the airport?" L asked.

"_We_ aren't going anywhere, Ryuzaki. I'm going to the airport. You're staying right here."

"No I'm not. I told you, I'm coming to England with you."

Soichiro, foreseeing the likely trend of this conversation, simply stared at L, holding his gaze until the young man started to squirm.

"Please don't look at me like that, Yagami-_san_. You make me feel like I've done something wrong."

"Oh, I wonder why that could be."

"Well, _I_ don't think I've broken any laws," L mumbled just loud enough for Soichiro to hear.

"There's a difference between what's legal and what's moral, Ryuzaki. Do you have any idea how worried I've been? What would have happened if you'd collapsed?"

"If you were that worried, why didn't you come and meet me at the station?"

Soichiro folded his arms. "Because you wouldn't tell Aizawa which station you were going to so there was no way he could tell _me_! Do you see what I mean about trusting other people, Ryuzaki?"

"I had to leave, Yagami-_san_. Roger told me he was going to take me back to Wammy's House today. I didn't want that to happen. If you or Matsuda had visited me yesterday, I would have told you then, but you didn't. I can't stay in Japan. I'm not safe here."

"Frankly, I don't see how you're going to be any safer from Wammy's House by traveling to the very country where it happens to be located."

"I'd be with you. That's safe enough for me. You forbade me to set up booby traps here, Yagami-_san_, and with no disrespect to your wife and daughter, I don't think either of them would be much good in a fight. And..." L hesitated.

"Go on."

"There are files in Wammy's House. Files on all the kids, including me. I don't just mean the cases they've solved, I mean _everything_. Things they probably don't know, like when the House first saw them or something. I think...maybe they planted some kind of bug on me." L swallowed. "_In_ me. That's how Watari was always able to find me, even when I was a kid and—" He broke off, eyes down.

"When those people buried you alive?" Soichiro asked softly.

L hunched over, like a turtle drawing into its shell. "Yeah, that. It would also explain how Sato was able to find me so easily. If I could find out for sure and get rid of it..." His voice tailed off again.

"And I assume you were expecting me to come with you on this little field trip."

L looked surprised, and a little alarmed. "Yes. People find it much harder to confuse you. Sometimes when I try to understand what people really mean, it's like trying to grasp fog, but you're normal. You understand everything."

_Nowhere near_, Soichiro thought.

"Ryuzaki, I'm not going for a vacation. I'm—"

"I know," L interrupted, "you're going for work. But I don't see how you can be working every hour of every day, and Winchester's not far from London."

"Really?" Soichiro wasn't convinced. L didn't often lie outright to him, but he did sometimes only tell half the story. "Compared to where?"

Pause. "Wales?"

"Right. You're still not coming with me."

"_Yagami-san—_"

"Don't _Yagami-san_ me, Ryuzaki. You look like death warmed over and I don't want to be responsible for you getting worse. Besides, I'm not sure the airline would allow someone in your condition to fly."

L folded his arms, wincing only slightly, and fixed Soichiro with a _don't-give-me-that-crap _look. "I'm injured, Yagami-_san_, not pregnant."

"You're also staying here and resting. You know every inch of this building; you can keep Roger at bay if you have to, and Matsuda and Aizawa will be here."

"I don't think Aizawa-_san_ will protect me any more," L said in a slightly smaller voice. "I...said some things to him that upset him. That's why he drove off and left me. Of course, that's also why I said them, but I'm ninety seven percent sure he won't want to put himself out for me any longer."

"He will, Ryuzaki, even if he is upset with you. Aizawa's nothing if not dedicated. You're safe here. I promise. Come on."

He helped L to his feet and escorted him down the corridor, getting as far as halfway before L dug his heels in and refused to move.

"Yagami-_san—_"

"Ryuzaki, I don't have time for this. I have to get to the airport."

"I don't want your wife and daughter knowing I'm here. Not yet. I just want to rest. Please take me to a different apartment."

Soichiro studied L's white face, then nodded. "Alright. I'll take you into yours. And I'll tell Sachiko you're here, but not to disturb you until tonight when she checks on your injury."

L still didn't move. "If I go into my apartment without stalling, will you do something for me in return?"

"What's that?"

"Take my venting book with you. Please."

Soichiro blinked. He'd braced himself for a number of strange requests from L, but that hadn't been one of them.

"Your—"

"I know you know what it is, Yagami-_san, _because you'll have found it by now and knowing you, you'll have opened it. Please take it with you, and the key. I don't want anyone here to find it."

"I can't see how that's going to happen, Ryuzaki, but if it makes you feel any better, then alright."

It did seem to make L feel better; the young man visibly relaxed and nodded once. "Thank you, Yagami-_san._"

"You're welcome. Come on." He led the suddenly amenable L into the young man's own apartment. "Wait there. I'll go and tell Sachiko you're here."

He headed through the secret passage in the wall, only to find that Sayu had left for class and Sachiko was nowhere to be seen.

_Probably tending the plants in the lobby._ His wife had fallen in love with that room the first time she'd seen it, and Soichiro wondered bitterly what she would think if she ever found out that Light had died there.

He retrieved L's venting book from where he'd placed it on the shelf and managed to wedge it into his laptop case, then headed back to L's apartment to say goodbye. Inside, L was already ensconced in one of his cushion nests and buried in his book.

"I'll see you when I get back, Ryuzaki."

"Alright. I hope you catch whoever you're after."

_So do I_, Soichiro thought. "Thank you. I'll call Sachiko when I get to the airport; she can come in and check on you tonight. If you want to stay here, that's fine, but remember your room's always ready if you want it."

The book quivered very slightly and L said, "Thank you, but I think my being with Sachiko-_san_ and Sayu-_san_ would just put them in danger. Please make sure your wife understands that when you speak to her."

Soichiro was less sure of that – much as he disliked Roger, he found it very hard to believe the man posed any kind of physical threat to anyone, let alone two people who had never done him any harm – but it seemed important to L and so he nodded. "Alright. I'll tell them. But it won't do you or them any harm if you join them for a good, healthy meal once in a while."

"Understood," L said from behind the book. "You'd better go now or you'll miss your plane. Have a safe flight, Yagami_-san_. I'll see you soon."

Something niggled at Soichiro – L seemed to have given in a little too easily – but he let it go. The young man was right about one thing; if he didn't go now, he probably _would_ end up missing his flight.

* * *

The young woman at the check-in desk gave Soichiro a smile that didn't come close to reaching her eyes.

"Are you carrying any kind of explosives or illegal substances?"

Soichiro bit back the urge to reply that if he were, he would hardly be stupid enough to admit it, and instead settled for a dutiful, "No."

"Could anyone have slipped anything into your bag without your noticing?"

_Not unless they could unfasten the top, work out which zipper to undo, take the case out of my hand, set it down on the floor, open it, close it again and put it back into my hand as well._ "No."

"Alright then." The check-in girl handed him his boarding pass with another professional smile. "Departures is just through there," she added, indicating the huge sign to their right. "The location of the business class lounge is marked on the back of your card here." She turned it over and showed him. "Enjoy your flight."

"Thank you." Soichiro turned and headed toward departures, unfastening his laptop case as he went. Half an hour later, he was seated in the business class lounge, where he ordered a late breakfast of salad and soup and settled down with a complimentary newspaper to wait until his flight was called.

It wasn't until he was actually on board and listening to the passenger safety briefing that he realized he'd forgotten to phone Sachiko.

_Damn. Damn, damn, damn. _He'd have to wait until they landed and just hope she wouldn't be too surprised if L suddenly turned up.

Time passed slowly, as it always does on public transport. Soichiro took a look at the movies and TV shows offered, but couldn't find anything to interest him. Most of them were in English and the few that weren't he'd either seen before or wasn't interested in. He'd only brought three books with him, two of those were in his suitcase and the third was one he liked but had already read four and a half times already. That only left him one option.

Getting to his feet, he moved over to the overhead locker and took out his briefcase, then settled back in his seat, pulled out the papers he had concerning this latest case, and started to go through them.

Suicides. Or perhaps murders made to _look_ like suicide; it was hard to tell. The cause and location of death were both the same: jumping off a roof, leaving nothing but a white flower behind them. It was identical to a similar spate of deaths that had occurred in Japan several years ago.

Soichiro sighed. They'd never gotten to the bottom of that one either; after six deaths, it had never happened again.

_Except now it's started up in England of all places. And why the hell are they sending me? I wasn't the only one to work on that case in Japan and I don't even speak English! _Maybe he should have brought L after all.

_No, you most certainly should not have. He needs rest. He'll be safe in the old headquarters._

_Yes, but Ryuzaki's definition of safe seems rather peculiar. _

_No, it's not. His definition of a safe place is anywhere you are. He'd rather be risking his life with you than safe at home without you. _

Well, at least L hadn't managed to sneak on board this flight. Soichiro had scrutinized the other passengers very carefully while waiting in the departure lounge and L hadn't been among them.

A smiling stewardess brought him a menu and Soichiro chose the Western meal, thinking he might as well get used to eating this food now, and went back to trying to make some sense out of the case. The presence of the white flower ruled out any possibility of the deaths being accidental falls. The only thing he didn't know was whether that flower was the signature of a murderer, or a rather poetic – and damn useless – suicide note.

Notes. Soichiro frowned and paged through the file again, searching for some reference to suicide notes and finding nothing besides a single line that no notes had yet been discovered. Of course, that didn't mean they hadn't been _written_, and given the identity of the victims, they may well have been mailed rather than left lying around. Or maybe they wouldn't have been left in that particular location. He'd have to ask about that.

Soichiro continued to reread the same pages over and over, in the hopes that the endless repetition could jolt something in his brain, only stopping for a break when the food arrived. Looking down at it, the deputy director felt...well, actually, he wasn't sure _what_ he felt. On the tray in front of him were two large sausages, potatoes and peas which had been first boiled and then dried until they were like bullets, and something that looked rather like a dessicated potato but which turned out to be a bread roll. There was a small serving of strawberry cheesecake for dessert.

_Ryuzaki would have liked that,_ Soichiro thought, and then tried to pretend he hadn't. The food tasted good enough, and the cheesecake's creamy texture helped to cut through the spiciness of the sausages.

Leaning back in his seat, he turned his head to stare out of the window, wondering which part of the world they were flying over just then. Wherever it was, it had a lot of mountains.

He glanced back at the TV screen, then sighed and dialed up the least boring looking English TV show. Even if he couldn't understand it, he supposed the exposure to the language would be good for him.

It turned out to be some kind of cooking contest, during which people made odd looking dishes and then apparently went on to another round or got kicked out, judging from the reactions. It lasted about an hour and Soichiro didn't understand a single word of it. The rest of the flight passed with him staring out of the window, wondering whether L had finished that book, and if Sachiko had discovered the young man's presence yet, with occasional spurts of rereading the case files to break the monotony. Once they landed, Soichiro adjusted his watch – realizing with a slight jolt that Sachiko and Sayu would be sitting down for dinner now – stepped out of the airplane and into Heathrow airport, swept along in the tide of passengers to the baggage reclaim area, where he waited in front of the board for the obligatory fifteen minutes before the airport decided to tell him which luggage belt he should go and stand in front of instead. By the time he got there, there were no trolleys left that he could see and so he had to stand there with the strap of his laptop case digging into his shoulder and wait behind the people who were already around the belt. He couldn't miss his case – it was white and stood out a mile, which was why he'd bought that particular one – but he wasn't sure he'd be able to reach it at this rate.

Case after case trundled by, some with brightly colored rags tied around their handles to make spotting them easier. Several were snatched up – and one or two hastily returned by passengers who were a little redder than before – but so far there was no sign of—ah, there it was!

Soichiro watched as his case drew nearer, feeling that special kind of isolated helplessness that only comes from being in a completely foreign country where you don't really speak or understand the language there. He badly wanted to ask the people in front of him if he could squeeze through, but hell if he knew that kind of English. Besides, they were so busy on their cellphones he doubted they'd hear him even if he had been able to string some kind of sentence together.

He ran a finger under his laptop case strap, shifting his weight. Well, this crowd couldn't last forever. He'd get his luggage eventually.

It took three more cycles before he at last succeeded in grabbing it and lifting it off the belt. Dumping it on the ground, he looked around in the rather vain hope that someone would have abandoned a trolley, but no such luck. With a sigh, he pulled out the handle of his suitcase and began hauling it in the direction of the exit.

He'd got halfway there when an unpleasantly familiar voice said from behind him, "Excuse me, Yagami-_san_, but might I interest you in a luggage trolley?"

Soichiro stopped, curled his hand into a fist and took several long, deep breaths.

"It's funny," he said, striving for a pleasant tone, "but you sound exactly like someone I know in Japan."

Willing himself to be wrong, he turned very slowly around and came face to face with—

"Is that all I am to you?" L asked in a hurt voice. "Just someone you know?"

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"Offering you a luggage trolley. Would you like it? I reserved it especially for you. Well, you and me." L nodded toward the laptop case and bright blue suitcase that was already on the trolley.

"How did you get on the plane?"

The young man looked a little puzzled. "Through the door, of course. Why? How do _you_ get on a plane?"

"You know what I mean! Dammit, Ryuzaki, why can't you _ever_ do as you're told?"

"Because you always tell me to do things that I don't want to do," L answered complacently as he perched on his suitcase and regarded Soichiro with no trace of remorse or awkwardness. "And you're not my handler, Yagami-_san_, so you don't have the right to control me anyway."

"I'm not trying to control you. I'm..." Soichiro strangled what he was about to say and changed it to, "How did you get out here?"

"I got in touch with Tatenaka before I left and told him I wanted to go along as your interpreter, which I'm going to be anyway since you don't speak English, and he's cleared it with the people here. But I'm going to need to know what kind of things I'm interpreting..." L let the sentence trail off and shifted his gaze pointedly to Soichiro's laptop bag.

"No you aren't, Ryuzaki, but that was a nice try."

L slumped, scowling at no one in particular. "I just want to help."

"The last time you helped me, you ended up in hospital."

"Well, if I hadn't, then _you_ would have ended up in the mortuary," L retorted. "I took a bullet for you, Yagami-_san_."

The memory of that terrible night was enough to send a cold jolt down Soichiro's spine.

"And do you think I enjoyed seeing someone I care about unconscious and fighting for his life so much that I want to risk it happening again?" he demanded.

L turned the scowl on him. "Do _you_ think I want to lose the only person in the world who ever bothered to try and teach me to be normal? You're not the only one who worries about other people, and I'm not going to let you come all the way to England by yourself."

"Ryuzaki, while I appreciate your concern, I'm old enough to be your father. I'm perfectly capable of going abroad to work without a babysitter."

"But not without an interpreter," L countered. "I've heard you speak English, Yagami-_san_. At least, I think it was supposed to be English. To tell you the truth though, I've never heard a language like it."

Soichiro folded his arms, staring at L. "Are you finished?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Good, then it's my turn. For one thing, whatever Tatenaka said, the English police may not want you involved, even if it is just as an interpreter." Soichiro grabbed his last suitcase off the conveyer belt, swung it onto the trolley and backed out of their space. "For another, you're still injured. And finally, we could be here for a while. What are you going to do about a visa?"

"Well, if they don't want me, you can either insist or I can stay in the hotel room, which answers your second point as well. And I have a British passport, so I can stay here as long as I please without any need for visas. Like I said, I can't stay in Japan, not all the time Roger's there."

Soichiro raised his eyebrows. "I see. So you came to his country instead."

"Well, it's not _my_ fault you decided to go and get yourself sent to England of all places. Why couldn't you have been sent to somewhere like Arizona? At least then I could have visited the Grand Canyon."

The deputy director gave L a long look. "I'm so sorry if the location of these suicides has inconvenienced you, Ryuzaki! May I remind you that you weren't supposed to come along?"

"If it gives you any satisfaction. Of course, now I'm here, you're looking at much better accommodation and a better class of flight home, and your own private interpreter who knows you, knows how you like to work and who won't charge you a yen. Or penny, if you want to be English about it." L hoisted himself onto Soichiro's suitcase. "If Roger had had his way, I would have flown here today anyway. I'd rather be with you than with him." Looking satisfied, he added, "I even phoned Sachiko-_san _from the airport and explained the situation so she'd know where I was going and not to worry about me, and I called her again when I landed to tell her I'd arrived safely." When Soichiro didn't answer immediately, the satisfaction gave way to apprehension and L said, "Was that normal of me, Yagami-_san_?"

"Yes it was. I'm glad you learned something from our little chat this morning. Now perhaps you'd be kind enough to explain how, if you didn't leave until I was out of the way, you managed to get to the airport and even get here ahead of me?"

"Private jet," L said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I see. And if you had access to a private jet, why did you leave _me_ to fly commercial?"

"Because you tried to stop me from coming to England and I couldn't face arguing with you. It's your own fault, Yagami-_san_. You shouldn't be so quick to throw your weight around."

Soichiro turned to face L fully. "Ryuzaki, would you like to say that to me one more time?"

L bit his lip and shifted his gaze to his now shuffling feet. "Uh, no. But I can make it up to you. Where are you staying?"

"I don't know yet. I wrote it down to show the taxi driver."

"Good, then please come to my hotel. I can make it alright with yours. I have two bedrooms in my suite so you might as well stay with me and save yourself the money. The second bedroom isn't ensuite so we'd have to share the bathroom but that's okay. I mean, you'll be out undercover most of the day and so I can use it during that time. I'll even let you have the master bedroom."

"I haven't agreed to this yet, Ryuzaki, and anyway, you would be the one paying for it, so the master bedroom should be yours."

"That's alright. I'd rather have the guest suite; it's got a round bed that revolves when you push a button. I've never slept in a revolving bed before, Yagami-_san_. It should be an interesting experience. We can explain to whoever's been sent to meet you. Who has been sent to meet you, by the way?"

The answer to that was nobody, at least as far as Soichiro was aware. Tatenaka had promised the people involved that the deputy director would be working this case and that he would show up on the first of August at eight am sharp. Minor matters such as actually _getting_ to this rendezvous had been left for Soichiro to work out.

The deputy director leaned back on his suitcase, folding his arms. "And you don't want to be all alone in this city, am I right?"

L turned crimson and stared down, one finger tracing his name kanji over and over on the trolley handle. At last he said in a very subdued voice, "I...I like you, Yagami-_san_. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it. You're the only person who ever tried to help me understand things. And I feel safe when I'm with you. You understand everything, so I know that nothing's going to happen to me that you can't explain. It's a very big world to be alone in."

Soichiro stared at him, touched to the heart in spite of his irritation. For L to come out and say something like that...

"Ryuzaki, thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that." He paused for a second, then went on. "And yes, I think it's a good idea for us to be in the same suite, providing it's not too expensive for you."

"Meaning you want to keep an eye on me?"

"That's certainly a large part of it. You've been through a lot recently, not least of which involved spending the best part of the night in a waiting room at the station. I want to make sure you're alright."

L licked his lips, still not looking at Soichiro. "Are you angry with me? Because I couldn't stay and let Roger take me back to Wammy's House and I'm not strong enough to fight him. And the nurses said I was being discharged anyway."

"Is that right?" Soichiro didn't bother keeping the skepticism out of his voice.

"Well, that's what they told Roger, so if I'm lying to you about it, Yagami-_san_, it's only because Roger lied to _me_."

"All well and good, but do you happen to remember my telling you that you couldn't fly out with me?"

L blinked. "I didn't fly out with you. You never said I couldn't fly out _without_ you."

Soichiro glared at him. "You know what I meant!"

"It was just one little flight in a private jet. I even slept most of the way here, so you can't accuse me of not being rested, and I had a _really_ good meal as well. Why are you angry with me?"

Soichiro folded his arms. "Ryuzaki, when you asked Watari to let you go outside or to let you have a normal life, what did he do?"

L shifted his weight, licking his lips unconsciously. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because I think it can help me answer your question." Soichiro paused, then said in a quieter tone, "Are you going to explode if we keep talking about this?"

"No, I'm fine. I haven't exploded since we had that talk on the roof. But talking about things like this makes me hurt."

"Did Watari ever let you?"

L shook his head, body tense. "No. He said he would but he never did."

"And how did that make you feel?"

The young man snapped his head up to glare at Soichiro. "What are you, a psychiatrist?"

_Careful...careful..._ "Powerless? Frustrated? Angry at having your thoughts and wishes being so casually flicked aside?"

L gave a curt, one-shouldered shrug and didn't answer.

"I assume that's a _yes_, Ryuzaki, since it's exactly how I feel right now. And every other time when I ask you to do something and you just ignore me and do whatever you want, even if you know it's going to upset me."

"But you didn't ask me to stay in Japan, Yagami-_san_."

"Ryuzaki, I specifically said—"

"Exactly!" L overrode him so loudly that two other people looked over in surprise. "You _said_. You didn't ask me if I would be happy to stay in Japan; you told me that that's what you had decided would happen. You never bothered to ask what I wanted. Even after I told you why I left the hospital in such a way and that Roger was planning to take me that same day, you didn't seem able to come up with any plan of action other than hide in the HQ and hope he doesn't turn up. Which he would have done," L added, "since he knows full well where it is _and_ that I've been living there. Watari picked me up and moved me like a damn pawn whenever it pleased him and _you_ keep me restricted to one spot whenever it pleases _you._"

Soichiro felt his temper rise – it had been a long flight – and choked it down with a supreme effort.

"That's not true, and not at all fair. I couldn't really ask you to remain behind, since it's not something I could phrase in the form of a request."

"No, but you didn't say _please_ either. You could have said, _Ryuzaki, I'd like you to stay behind please_ instead of _You're staying here_. If you don't bother respecting my feelings on these things, why do you think I should bother to respect yours? Or do the rules of etiquette and consideration just not apply to you? Because while we're on that subject, I seem to remember you getting angry with me for _yobisute, _yet you do it to me all the time, Soichiro!"

Soichiro's head snapped up and he stared at L, who was suddenly crimson.

"I apologize." The young man's voice was much quieter now. That had always been the way of it; L got heated up and burst out with what he had to say in a rush, as if afraid of missing his chance, and then cooled down again just as fast. "I shouldn't have called you that, Yagami-_san_. I had no right."

The deputy director held up a hand. "It's alright. Soichiro's fine."

L swallowed. "R-really?"

"Ryuzaki, if saving my daughter's life and taking a bullet for me doesn't give you the right to call me by my given name, I don't know what does. But I still stand by what I said: you shouldn't have come."

"Well, I had to do _something_," L countered. "I didn't think I'd like being alone with your wife and daughter when I'm in this condition."

Soichiro took hold of the front of L's t-shirt and pulled him off the suitcase, then lifted his own onto the trolley and started pushing it along. "Oh really? What exactly do you think they're going to do to you?"

"_Fuss_ over me," L retorted.

Well, the deputy director didn't think he could argue with that.

"Ryuzaki—" how was he supposed to say this without sounding callous?— "this is potentially a very nasty case. I'm not going to be able to work on it and look after you at the same time."

"I'm not a little kid, Yaga...Soichiro." L stumbled a little over Soichiro's name, then plunged ahead. "I don't understand a lot of the adult world, but how will knowing how to pay bills or the values of fixed versus variable rate mortgages help me while I'm on vacation here? I'm perfectly capable of amusing myself." He paused to let this sink in, then added, "And I really didn't come here to interfere with what you're doing. If it's what you want, then I promise I'll stay out of the case unless you ask for my help. I don't even mind if you want to abandon me in the hotel every day while you're working on whatever it is. I'm away from Roger. That's enough for me. By the time he finds me, I'll be recovered and well enough to face him on my own terms. Though I would still like to visit Wammy's House after you've solved this case," L finished in a quieter voice.

Soichiro was silent for a long time. Although he didn't want to give L the satisfaction of hearing him admit it, he was glad to see him. And L spoke English and knew English ways and culture; it would be a lot easier for the deputy director to have him around.

The older man glanced at L and sighed.

"Alright. Where's this hotel of yours?"

A smile lit up L's face. "Follow me."


	5. Failure To Communicate

**Anonymous: **Thanks XD Yes, Matt will play a fairly large part in this fic, but he won't be making his appearance for a while.

**PianoCatRulez: **Thanks. Yeah, poor L has a rough time of it sometimes ;)

**Aiyana Miyuki: **Heh. You'll find out what happens to L soon enough, believe me =P

* * *

**JULY 29 – 30**

The hotel suite was huge, even bigger than the apartment Soichiro was staying in at the old HQ. A dining table that seated eight was in one half of the main room, and a white crushed velvet sofa was in the other half, framing a glass coffee table. The whole was fronted by a terrace balcony with a small table and two chairs. There was even a gleaming and fully stocked kitchenette. The bedrooms were just as impressive, with a king-sized double in the master bedroom and a round, revolving bed in the smaller one, which L immediately claimed for himself before Soichiro had a chance to put forward the argument about L deserving the bigger room. The ensuite was also a good size, with a deep marble bath that Soichiro made up his mind to try at the earliest opportunity.

"What do you think?" L was nervous now. "Do you like it?"

The deputy director stared around and said the first thing that came into his mind.

"How much is this costing?"

L gave him a look. "Since it's a present for you, I find that question to be rather inappropriate."

"Humor me."

The young man shrugged. "Well, I really don't know. I wasn't sure how long I'd be there so I just told them to bill me monthly." He strolled over to the window and pulled back the curtain with two fingers, peering out at the view. "The first two months are paid up in advance, so if anything happens to me, you won't be thrown out."

"Ryuzaki—"

"You know, I'm starving," L said abruptly, turning back to the main room. "Let's see what they do in the way of room service."

Soichiro watched as the young man rummaged around in various drawers for the room service menu, and tried again.

"Ryuzaki—"

"I mean, the food I had on that private jet was good, but I'm sure your dinner wasn't." L withdrew the menu and held it up in front of him in both hands like a shield. "Do you want some food? I want some food."

"_Ryuzaki_." This time Soichiro stepped forward and took hold of L's shoulders. Past experience had taught him that physical contact was often the only surefire way to get the young man's attention. "Nothing is going to happen to you."

L looked down, biting his thumbnail, the menu now dangling between the index finger and thumb of his other hand. "Yeah, I know. But it can't hurt to be prepared. I mean, it doesn't have to be dramatic; I could step into the road and get mown down by a bus as easily as recaptured by Wammy's House. I'm just trying to think ahead. Like a normal person would." Pause. "That _is _normal, right?"

"Yes."

"Good." L hopped onto the huge couch. "If I do or say something that isn't normal, please tell me. I don't want to give Wammy's House any excuse to claim I can't live my own life and even if I'm not normal, at least I can learn to pretend that I am. I don't know if I'll be able to pretend well enough to fool them, but it's worth a try."

Soichiro sat down next to him. "I think you're confusing normality with responsibility."

L gave him a look that flickered between uncertainty and a desperate need to be convinced. "What do you mean?"

"Ryuzaki, you can be the oddest person in the world, but if you can pay your bills, get your own food and keep where you live clean – even if you hire someone to do that – then you're able to live your own life. You've got money coming in from Aizawa and Matsuda—"

"Actually, I waived Matsuda's rent for the time being. He needs money for the lawyer." L was silent for a long time, then added, "But Aizawa's paying me regularly. Are you sure you don't want any food?"

"Perhaps." Soichiro watched as L studied the room service menu and wished he'd thought to brush up on English foods instead of holding meaningless conversations with his English teacher about how many siblings and aunts he had and what he did for a living. "What do they offer that's light?"

"Let's see..." L scanned the menu. "Sandwiches?"

Right. Of course. Westerners stuffed themselves on bread instead of rice, didn't they? Soichiro suppressed a sigh and, with considerably more difficulty, a sudden craving for a simple bowl of rice and _furikake_.

"Anything hot that isn't a full meal?"

"Toasted sandwiches," L answered. "Or there's soup, or jacket potatoes with a filling."

Soichiro glanced at the back of the menu, trying to decipher the English words. "What kind of filling?"

"Cheese, tuna mayonnaise, prawn mayonnaise, baked beans or coleslaw. There are a lot of other food options here as well, but they're all full meals."

Soichiro sighed. "Alright, never mind the potato. I'll have the soup."

"Chicken, mushroom, vegetable, minestrone, tomato, leek and potato, oxtail or cucumber?"

"Vegetable." At least there wouldn't be any surprises with that one. Soichiro didn't even want to think about what cucumber soup would taste like.

L ordered the food – Soichiro wasn't sure what the young man had picked for himself – and they sat in silence until it arrived fifteen minutes later.

When it did, the deputy director was sure there had been some kind of mistake, as it took the hotel staff three trips to bring it all in. Four separate covered dishes were placed on the dining table, followed by a small bottle of Appletiser. Reaching out, L took the cover off one of the plates to reveal a chicken breast covered with cheese and pineapple chunks, then snatched up a knife and fork and started to eat, stuffing the food into his mouth with every outward sign of enjoyment.

Soichiro found his soup on the third attempt – the first had a small bowl of breadcrumbed...things, and the other a dish of strawberry pavlova – sat down opposite L and studied the small breadcrumbed balls, trying to work out what they were. Chicken would have been his first guess, or pork, but the smell wasn't quite right for either of those.

"What are they?" he asked, in between swallows of soup.

"Breaded mushrooms," L answered, rather indistinctly.

The deputy director stared at him, sure he'd misheard. "Breaded _what_?"

L swallowed his mouthful of chicken, took a rapid swig of Appletiser and repeated in a clearer voice, "Mushrooms. You dip them in egg yolk, then roll them in breadcrumbs and fry them. They're very popular in the West."

Soichiro stared at the small balls – one or two did have a vaguely mushroom-like shape to them when he looked closer – and took the plunge.

"Do you mind if I try one?" If they really were popular, he supposed he'd better get used to eating them. Besides, who knew; they may not taste all that bad.

L gestured toward the plate, looking pleased at Soichiro's request. "Help yourself. Just watch you don't burn your mouth. They're a bit like _takoyaki_ that way."

Soichiro, who had been about to pop one into his mouth and bite down on it, froze, then set it down on his plate gingerly, as though frightened it would explode, and reached for a knife and fork. Cutting it in half, he blew on it, then sniffed it once or twice before putting it into his mouth and chewing experimentally.

"Not bad," he conceded.

L pushed a small pot of creamy white substance over to him. "Try it with the garlic mayonnaise. You'll love it."

More to please L than because he really wanted to, Soichiro dunked the other half in the sauce, fished out the breadcrumb casing and put it in his mouth. It tasted better than he expected.

"And English people eat these a lot?" he asked, reaching out for another one.

"Well, they don't often have them in their homes, but you'll find them on most restaurant menus and even some takeaway places." L finished his chicken and sat back with a happy sigh. "So anyway, tell me about the case. Is it murder or suicide?"

Soichiro looked at him for a few moments before taking a third mushroom and surrendering to the inevitable.

"You realize my telling you about it is _not_ an invitation for you to join the investigation?" he said pointedly.

"Of course. But I can still think about it in the hotel suite. Murder or suicide?"

"Before I answer you, I assume you know about English customs."

"Most of them. Why?"

"When an English person dies, what kind of flowers are sent to the funeral?"

L considered this, frowning slightly as he reached for his pavlova. "I've never attended one so I can't say for sure, but I don't think there's a hard and fast rule to that. I know it's not like in Japan where we always use white chrysanthemums; here they seem to send whichever flowers they think the dead person would have liked the most when he or she was still alive, whether that's roses, lilies, daffodils or something else entirely. Why? What kind of flower was left at the crime scene?"

"In Japan, it was a white chrysanthemum. I don't know about here; the notes I was given just said _white flower_."

L leaned back in his chair, a bored expression on his face. "So the deaths in Japan were the result of a suicide club which has taken off over here. Pity. For a moment there I actually thought this case would be interesting."

Soichiro hesitated, staring at L. "They never worked that out for certain."

"Of course they didn't, because the Japanese police are idiots. Present company excepted, of course," L added hastily. "It's obvious they were suicides from what you just said." He sipped at his drink. "All you have to do is think."

"I get the feeling it would be quicker to just ask you," Soichiro answered, unable to keep the note of irritation out of his voice.

L smiled. "So true. Alright. You said it was a white chrysanthemum. What condition was it in? Were any of the petals bent or damaged?"

Soichiro frowned, glancing through the file for the notes on that particular case.

"No. It didn't have a stem, but the blossom was untouched."

"Ah. Then it really must have been suicide."

Soichiro took several deep breaths, then said in a tightly controlled voice, "Alright, but will you please explain to me how you worked it out?"

"Simple. The flower is either a murderer's calling card, or a suicide note. If a murderer killed someone, they wouldn't want to fetch a flower and go back; it would be too risky. Therefore the flower was brought up on purpose. You'd need both hands to force someone off a roof, so you'd have to put the flower down where it could get trodden on in the fight. If you put it in your pocket, it would probably get squashed, yet according to you and the case file, it was in perfect condition. Well, it would have to be; if it were too mashed up, you you wouldn't have been able to identify it." L upended the bottle, tipping the last drops of Appletiser into his mouth. "So we know it was taken to the roof, yet it wasn't damaged in any way so there was no struggle. That means that the victims – if you can be said to be a victim of suicide – simply placed it down delicately just prior to throwing themselves off the roof. The identical nature of the suicides meant that it was something they'd planned out and agreed upon beforehand. People listen and gossip in schools, so they must have met separately when there was no chance of being overheard, and they must have known each other fairly well; it's not exactly the kind of thing you'd discuss with a stranger. Given the ages of the victims, they probably all went to the same school. Clearly then a group of people bent on the same aim who knew each other well, clearly therefore a suicide club. You can claim that theory as your own when you talk to the English police. I don't mind. I'm happy to act as your interpreter, but I'd rather be kept out of the firing line."

There was no way Soichiro was going to argue with that and so he just nodded. "Alright. Speaking of that, I should probably call them, tell them I've arrived. I've still got no idea how to get to their offices." Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number, listened to the woman jabbering on in English at the other end, then held it out to L with a grimace. "Would you mind? I think it's some kind of answering machine."

The young man took the phone from Soichiro gingerly between finger and thumb and raised it to his ear. "Hello?"

He listened for a few seconds, then glanced at the deputy director with a slight frown. "It's a recorded message."

"I worked that much out for myself, thank you. What does it say? And if it's asking you to leave a message," Soichiro added, "please tell them I'll be there at eight o'clock Monday morning as agreed."

L shook his head. "It doesn't say anything like that." He hesitated. "It says, _The number you have dialed has not been recognized_."

Soichiro stared at him. "What?"

"I can't believe it. He—no. No, he couldn't have, but..._how_?" L shoved the phone back into the older man's hand and started pacing restlessly around the suite, a tense expression on his face as Soichiro watched. It seemed L's mind had jumped to the answer quicker than his had, which was nothing new – L usually thought faster than everyone else – but it was damn frustrating.

"He who?"

The young man didn't answer, preferring instead to keep up his pacing, his speed increasing with every circuit of the room until he swerved abruptly to the dining table and attempted to drag it across the room.

"Ryuzaki," Soichiro said sharply, "take it easy and sit down before you hurt yourself! What are you doing with the table?"

"Setting up a barricade." L gave up on attempting to drag the table and lifted one end of it, glancing at Soichiro. "Can you take the other end? I can't manage it by myself."

Instead, the deputy director walked over and took hold of L's shoulders. "Ryuzaki—"

L let the table drop with a crash and turned to stare at Soichiro. With a kind of dull shock, the older man realized that L was _scared_.

_Really_ scared.

"Ryuzaki," Soichiro went on in a softer tone, "sit down."

L glanced longingly at the table and didn't move.

"Sit down." Firmer this time, but without any real anger. Soichiro always stopped just short of physically forcing L; he was never sure how painful the young man's back was.

L hesitated, then limped over to the couch and sat down. Once he was certain that L was going to stay there, Soichiro joined him and put an arm around the young man's shoulders.

"Ryuzaki—"

L froze under his touch, then spoke in a low voice, not looking at Soichiro.

"You were right, Soichiro. I should have stayed in Japan."

The deputy director stared at him. "You're not making any sense."

"They knew. They knew exactly what I'd do so all they had to do was make sure that you did what they knew you'd do if they set you up to do it and wait for me to do it as well!"

Soichiro grimaced. "And now you're _really_ not making any sense."

L shook his head and turned around, twisting out of Soichiro's hold. "I can't stay here. I have to get out."

Pushing himself to his feet, he returned to the table and stopped just in front of it, turning his head this way and that as if trying to remember what he was doing in such a place. Soichiro followed him, trying to remember if he'd ever seen L so agitated before, and took hold of his arms again.

"Ryuzaki, _listen_ to me. No one can get in here without a keycard. Sachiko and Sayu don't know which hotel we're staying in, they only know that we're in England. Roger is probably still searching Japan for you. There's no reason to rearrange the furniture." He paused to give L time to contradict this and then, when the young man remained silent, persisted. "You are talking about Wammy's House, aren't you?"

"_Yes_! Who else could it be? They set this up to get me here!" L attempted to squirm free again, but this time Soichiro held him fast.

"I see. And you wouldn't be at all willing to consider the possibility that I may have made a mistake when writing down the number, or simply misdialed it?"

There was a long silence, during which a lot of the tension leaked out of L's body.

"No," the young man said at the end of it, in the tones of one who is racking his brains in an effort to avoid looking like an idiot.

"Then perhaps you should. Look, I'll try again and if it doesn't work, I'll phone Tatenaka and ask him to double check the number. Now will you _please_ calm down? You're getting paranoid."

"I have to go back there." L swallowed. "_We_ have to go back there, otherwise I doubt I'll be coming out again."

"Ryuzaki, you're an adult. You can walk in and out of that place as many times as you like. They have no legal right or power to stop you. Well, no," Soichiro amended, "since it's private property I suppose they do have the right to stop you walking _in_, but they can't stop you walking out."

L managed a smile. "You just said it yourself. They have no _legal_ power. That doesn't mean they won't knock me out and lock me up."

"Then why do you want to go back there so badly?" Soichiro asked.

The young man was silent for a long time. Soichiro didn't push him to speak. Previous experience had taught him that when L wasn't stonewalling when he was like this; he just needed time to work out how best to phrase his answer.

"I don't know," he said at last.

"You don't know the answer, or you don't know how to put it?"

Long silence.

"I don't know," L said again. He was tense, not looking at the deputy director, both hands flexing in and out of fists. Outside of a case, articulation was not his strongest suit. Soichiro wondered what that must be like, to have the answer in your head but be unable to express it clearly.

_Not to mention he's got no idea what I want to hear_. They'd almost gotten past this, but the key word there was _almost_, and if you added that to the fact that despite the excuses he'd made to Soichiro, L knew full well that he wasn't supposed to have come out to England in the first place, and the deputy director supposed it wasn't all that surprising that the young man felt a need to placate him.

"Is there something you want to get from Wammy's House?"

"I don't know that either. How can I know if I want to get something when I don't know what's there?"

"Ah." Soichiro was careful not to let any trace of emotion show on his face. "Then are you hoping to find out if there's something there? Something that might stop them from finding you again if you took it away?"

L hesitated, then nodded. "Yes. I think so. It would be a start, anyway, and I want to present my case to them myself. Maybe I can make them listen to me. And if you're there, you can stop me getting confused, otherwise they'll just talk me round in circles. I'm good at solving crimes, but not at everyday things. I mean, how _do_ you deal with someone whose only method of persuasion is to tell you the same things over and over again? And they don't even yell at you, so you can't feel justified in exploding."

"It didn't stop you exploding at me all those times," Soichiro couldn't help pointing out.

"No, but you're younger than Roger and you know how to protect yourself. I could explode at you because I knew you wouldn't let me get physically violent. You were always safe to explode at. I don't like Roger, but I don't want to kick him either. Old people tend to be more fragile and I'd probably do more damage than I intended." L's voice became quieter and he added, "Just like in New York."

"New York wasn't your fault, Ryuzaki."

"But neither was Wammy's House." L paused, then brought out what Soichiro was certain was the heart of his fear. "If I go there and get angry, there's always a chance I might do the same thing again."

Soichiro shook his head. "No. I won't let that happen."

L looked at him and swallowed. "You won't let me explode?"

"I can't stop you from exploding, Ryuzaki, but I can stop you from hurting anyone if you do."

The young man scrutinized him for several long seconds.

"_Can_ you?"

"Yes," Soichiro answered without hesitating. He let this sink in, glancing around for something – _anything_ – to distract L, and his gaze fell on the room service menu. On impulse, he sat down and picked it up, then held it out. "Come on. Come and help me translate this."

The young man gave him a long look. "You're hungry?"

"No, but I will be tomorrow and I'd like to know what I'm going to be eating. Besides, I can't keep relying on you all the time." Soichiro pointed to an item at random. "What's this one?"

L sat down and glanced at it. "Duck a l'orange. Duck in orange sauce. Served with carrots and potatoes."

"Alright." Soichiro pulled out a pen and envelope and jotted it down – he hadn't been lying when he'd said he wanted to know what was on the menu – and indicated another one. "How about this?"

"Sea bass. Soichiro, I know what you're doing."

"I'm trying to take your mind off Wammy's House," the deputy director retorted. "What's this?"

L took the menu from him with bad grace. "Why don't I just read out all the dishes in Japanese?"

Soichiro reached out and took it back again. "Mindlessly reciting things wouldn't be much of a distraction for you."

"I don't _want_ to be distracted!" L slammed both hands onto the table, then surged onto his feet and resumed his frenetic pacing.

The deputy director kept his voice and face completely calm as he answered, "Alright. What do you want?"

"Roger's head on a stick."

"Well, I can't help you with that. What else?"

L managed to slow to a halt for all of five seconds before taking off again, jumping onto and over any furniture that got in his way. Soichiro was just glad the young man was barefoot, otherwise it would be rather awkward having to explain the presence of footprints on the dining table to the hotel staff. This time he let L keep moving. Motion seemed to make it easier for the young man to think things through, and Soichiro had the strong feeling this wasn't something he could help with.

At last L stopped again and said passionately, "I want them to let me _go_. Let me live in peace, without having to peer over my shoulder the whole time or worry who might be working for them."

Soichiro nodded – there was no need to ask who _they_ were – and said, "Fine. Then tomorrow morning we'll go to Wammy's House and state your case to them. We can find out if they planted some kind of tracker on you and if they did, where it is, and take it out. If there are any files on you, we'll destroy them or take them away with us if you'd rather."

L swallowed. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"You won't go without me?"

"I can't go without you, Ryuzaki; I've no idea where the House is. I'll need you to get in, and if you need me to get you out, then I will." Soichiro held out the menu. "Now come help me with this. I want to know what to order for breakfast tomorrow morning."

L stared at it. Soichiro could practically hear the war raging inside the young man and didn't say anything, didn't do anything except watch him and wait.

At last L came over to the table and took the menu from Soichiro with a sigh and the expression of one who is performing the noblest kind of self-sacrifice.

"Alright," he said resignedly. "Make sure you take notes though, because I don't want to have to translate this twice."

With a sinking feeling – L's translations often came out at hypersonic speed – Soichiro reached for a pen and paper.

–

The next morning, Soichiro didn't wake up until ten past nine, something he'd only ever done before when he'd been ill and which he instantly decided to blame on jet lag if L made any snarky comments about it.

It seemed the young man had other things on his mind, however; he was perched on the chair nearest the exit, watching Soichiro's bedroom door, and as soon as the deputy director entered, L jumped to his feet.

"Good, you're awake. Let's go."

Soichiro paused in the middle of a yawn and gave L a pointed look. "We're not going anywhere until I've had a cup of coffee and some breakfast."

"I'll order breakfast. What do you want?"

The older man hesitated, then gave in. It probably would be quicker to let L do it, after all.

"Surprise me. Just make it something healthy."

L considered this for a few moments, then said, "Got it." Picking up the phone, he spoke in rapid English to the person on the other end, then hung up and returned to hovering around Soichiro. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

Soichiro paused in the middle of making coffee and turned to face L. "No, Ryuzaki, I haven't changed my mind, but I don't like being rushed. We'll leave when I'm good and ready. Now sit down, or at least calm down."

L hopped onto the chair next to Soichiro's and continued to glance from the deputy director to the door, as if afraid one or the other would disappear if he looked away for too long.

Breakfast took a surprisingly long time to arrive. When it did, Soichiro lifted the cover and stared at what lay beneath. The first thought that occurred to him was that L had taken his instructions to surprise him a little too literally.

"Ryuzaki," he said in a forced level tone, "what are these?"

"A healthy breakfast," L answered in a somewhat evasive manner. "They're high in protein, low in fat and carbohydrate and they're also an excellent source of iron and potassium."

"Yes, I'm sure you're right." Folding his arms, Soichiro favored L with a rather stern look. "But they are, in fact, snails."

"Lots of people eat snails," L answered, his tone now eminently reasonable.

"And what made you think that I was one of them?" Soichiro inquired.

The young man shrugged and didn't answer.

"Ryuzaki, did you by any chance order this food in the hopes that I would refuse to eat it and we could get going a little faster?"

"You _did_ tell me to order you something healthy and surprising," L pointed out to his feet.

Soichiro sat down at the table and pulled the plate toward him. "Well, if you expect me to throw it out in disgust, you're going to be out of luck. I'll try one of these and if I don't like it, I'll get you to order me something a little more ordinary."

L glared at him. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

Soichiro met his glare squarely and without flinching. "I don't like being manipulated any more than you do."

L fell silent and the older man turned his attention to the problem of everyone who has ordered snails – whether intentionally or otherwise – namely that of how to get them out of their shells. A little experimentation with the tiny tongs and equally miniscule fork which had been provided with the meal soon solved that mystery, however, and Soichiro hesitated, took a deep breath and started to eat.

"How are they?" L asked in a small voice.

The deputy director considered for a few seconds, then said, "A little chewy, but not as bad as I was expecting."

"So you won't ask me to order you something else?"

Soichiro eyed him, then said, "Not this time, no. I take it you're ready to go?"

L swallowed hard, biting his lip, then nodded, no longer looking at him.

"Are you sure?" Soichiro asked, his voice a little gentler this time.

"No. But if we don't go soon, I'll lose my nerve. I've already talked myself out of going and back into it three times while waiting for you to wake up."

There was a silence.

"I'm sorry." L's voice was quiet. "I know you didn't bargain on having to go with me to Wammy's House, but I need you. I can't do this on my own and I don't think they're going to leave me in peace if I _don't_ do it."

Soichiro glanced down at his meager breakfast – snails weren't very filling, whatever other healthy benefits they may have possessed – and didn't answer.

As if reading his mind, L said, "I'll buy you lunch."

"You don't have to bribe me, Ryuzaki."

"It's not a bribe," L protested, "it's a token of my appreciation. A bribe is given before the act, not after it."

Soichiro gave in. The young man did have a rather frayed look about him, as if he'd gotten next to no sleep the night before, and the thought of a meal out was tempting.

"Alright. Let me get changed and then we'll go."

Getting a taxi to take them as far away as Winchester was no easy task, however, and after they'd been at it for about half an hour, Soichiro was feeling more than a little fed up.

"Are you _sure_ we can't just take the train?" he asked pointedly as the fourth taxi driver shook his head and drove off.

"Yes. The nearest station is about fifteen kilometers from Wammy's House, and it's a tiny little thing with no taxis. Maybe you can walk that kind of distance but I'm not sure I can." L slowed to a halt and leaned against a lamppost, looking around.

"How's your chest?" Soichiro asked.

"It's not getting any worse, but it's still uncomfortable. Short walks are fine, but not fifteen kilometers. I did think about asking for the hotel to provide us with a car but they need a little time to do that and I don't want to wait." The young man glanced around and added, "Besides, I like taxis. They're much more friendly than trains."

"Much more expensive as well," Soichiro couldn't help saying.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, since it's my money. You just have to sit back and enjoy the ride." L paused, then added, "After all, you don't have to be at work until the day after tomorrow. It would be a shame not to see some of London's historic sites while you're here. I could ask him to drive us around the city a little before going onto Wammy's House. What do you think?"

"I think you're trying to put off the moment when you have to go to that House," Soichiro answered candidly. "Ryuzaki, if you've changed your mind and want to leave it for today—"

"No!" The answer came back so emphatically that one or two people stopped to stare. L winced and lowered his voice. "No, I can't. If I leave it for today, I'll leave it for tomorrow as well, and then you'll be at work and I'd really like you to be with me when I go back, Ya—Soichiro. I don't think I can do it without you. I need your help."

A confession like this only came from L once in a blue moon, and it was that more than anything which told Soichiro how desperate the young man truly was.

"Alright." The deputy director forced an upbeat note into his voice. "We'll keep trying a little longer."

In spite of Soichiro's admittedly fake optimism, it took several more attempts before they were able to find a driver willing to take them to Winchester, and by the time they did, Soichiro was sick and tired of the whole business and making a mental note to look into car hire. At least here they drove on the same side of the road as in Japan, so it shouldn't be too difficult as long as he took L along to translate the street signs.

"Are you sure you know the way?"

L nodded. "Yes. I'm..." He hesitated, then went on. "Well, I'm very familiar with the roads around Wammy's House. I doubt they'll have changed at all since I last—" he swallowed what he'd been about to say and settled for— "saw them."

The deputy director settled back in the seat and turned to face L more fully. "No, but things look different when you're in a car as opposed to on foot."

L drew in on himself, curling into his ball and stared out of the window. A few miles had gone by before he spoke again.

"Soichiro?"

"Yes?"

The young man kept his gaze fixed firmly out the window as he asked, "If someone – say, Light-_kun_ – ran away but the police brought him back, how would you react?"

It was Soichiro's turn to go silent as he thought about this. The wrong answer to this kind of question wouldn't trigger one of L's explosions – he had enough self-control not to explode in public anyway – but it would send him back into his shell if the deputy director wasn't careful. After all the time and effort Soichiro had invested in coaxing L out of that shell, he was damned if he'd say or do anything to drive him back inside it.

"It depends a little on the situation," he answered.

L started doodling with his finger on the inside of the car door. "Like...maybe if he ran at around midnight, say, and the police brought him back two days later."

"Two days?" That made it a little easier. "Well, to start with, I'd be furious at him for worrying his family so badly. Relieved that he was safe." Soichiro considered it for a few moments, then continued. "And if he did, I think I'd want to know what had upset him so badly that he couldn't discuss with me or Sachiko." He paused, wondering if he dared push this, then decided to risk it. "Why? How did they react at Wammy's House?"

L shot him a smoldering glare. "Don't you ever get tired of second-guessing games, Soichiro?"

The deputy director shrugged. "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to."

"Well, there's a first," L muttered.

Soichiro raised his eyebrows, looking him straight in the face. "That's not fair, Ryuzaki. When have I ever forced myself into your confidence?"

There was another silence. This one lasted so long that the streets of London had given way to hedges before L spoke again, his gaze firmly on his feet.

"I...apologize." The words sounded strained, as though he was having to force them out past some obstruction. "I don't know why I said that. I just..."

He broke off, chest hitching once or twice, then suddenly leaned forward and shot out several terse words, causing the driver to swerve to one side and stamp on the brakes.

"What—" Soichiro began.

That was as far as he got before L unfastened his seatbelt, shoved open the door and half fell out, landing on his hands and knees and vomiting onto the grass verge.

Oh. So _that_ was how you said _stop the car, I'm going to be sick _in English.

Soichiro made a kind of _please wait here_ gesture – at least, he hoped that was how the driver would take it – and got out of the taxi and headed round to L, who was now lying on his side and breathing rapidly.

"Ryuzaki?"

"I'm fine." L's voice was hoarse and he managed to push himself up. "I'm fine. I think I just need to rest for a few moments."

"Alright. Alright. You take all the time you need. What happened?"

L shook his head. "I don't know. I just...I think I got a little carsick." He looked down at his hands and added in a quieter voice, "I get carsick very easily."

Soichiro didn't believe that for one moment – he'd driven L around plenty of times and the young man had been just fine – but he was kind enough not to call him on it.

"Do you think it's likely to happen again if we go on?" he asked instead. "Or if we go back to the hotel?"

"This is the only day you're likely to have off, even if I have just solved the case for you," L pointed out. "We have to go today."

"I have tomorrow off as well, and we don't have to do anything, Ryuzaki, not if you're not ready. There will be other days." Soichiro forbore from mentioning that L hadn't really solved the case; they still had to find out what was causing this and stop it.

"Yes, but if we wait, it increases the chances of Roger getting back before us. I want to be in and out before that happens. They'll report it to him, of course, but that's it. Oh, and if anyone asks, we're not staying in London and we're _definitely _not staying in the Mayfair."

"I can't think they're going to mention it, but I'll remember."

"Good. Thank you." L took several deep breaths, staring at the taxi, then glanced at Soichiro and nodded once. "I'm ready. Let's go."

* * *

**AN: **Sorry this one took so much longer than usual; I've been visiting family in the UK for the last week or so and getting over a stinking cold. Next one should be up a lot sooner :)


	6. Wammy's House

**Aiyana: **Well...maybe ;)

**PianoCatRulez: **Heh, yeah XD And thanks, I'm glad you liked it :)

* * *

**JULY 30**

Wammy's House was not what Soichiro had been expecting. Maybe it was because of his own feelings toward it, or L's obvious fear of being trapped there, but he'd imagined it to be a huge, gloomy gray building with the kind of tiny narrow windows you only saw in castles, and surrounded by concrete on all sides. Instead, he saw a pleasant and rather sprawling two storey red-brick building with large windows and surrounded by lawn and a few flower borders. Soichiro supposed that if you had a lot of children running around, even genius ones, any beautiful gardens probably wouldn't last very long. Two small sets of mossy steps led up to a terrace where there was a nice looking table and chairs, and ivy grew up the sides of the building as high as the flat roof, which was surrounded by a railing.

"Is this it?" the deputy director asked, staring at it.

"Yes." L's voice was curt, clipped. He paid the taxi driver and got out, his hands in his jeans, which were bulging in a way that suggested clenched fists. Standing there, he stared up at the large gates that marked the entrance to the grounds, with _Wammy's _above them in wrought iron.

"What's that building over there?" Soichiro wanted to know, indicating an oddly shaped structure.

"It was the old bell tower. One kid threw himself off it and so Watari had the tower part removed. I don't know why he bothered. The House itself has an open roof terrace and anyone who wanted to could jump off there if they wanted. It's high enough, especially if you dived headfirst."

"I see." That took a lot of the appreciation out of it for Soichiro. "Why did that other kid commit suicide?"

A haunted look flickered through L's eyes and he looked away, lips pressed tightly together and didn't answer. Soichiro waited for the young man to make the next move and then, when L failed to do this, stepped up next to him in a silent gesture of support.

"Is being back here really that bad, Ryuzaki?" Even before he finished asking, he knew what the answer would be. L had thrown up a grand total of four times on the drive over.

The young man seemed to shake off the trance and looked at Soichiro. "No. I mean, nothing terrible ever happened to me here. But I don't want to stay."

"Then don't," Soichiro said simply. "Wammy's House will not get you, Ryuzaki. I promise you that. Even if you have to be guarded around the clock."

L looked away again, lips tightly drawn. "That wouldn't be much of a life for me though, would it?"

"No," Soichiro was honest enough to reply. "No, it wouldn't. But it wouldn't be forever either, only for as long as it takes to convince Wammy's House to leave you in peace."

The young man let out a bitter laugh. "That's the same thing!"

Soichiro thought L might have a point there, although he didn't much like it. He could understand Wammy's House wanting to check on L, even sending in a new handler for him, but they should respect L's wishes not to be involved with that life anymore.

Their appearance had not gone unnoticed; as Soichiro watched, a man about his age stepped out of the building and headed toward them.

"Who's that?"

"Him?" L stared at the man. "His name's Sakanaka. He's a sort of caretaker. He's been here longer than I have."

"Ah." Soichiro looked around. "So what's the plan?"

"I'm going in. I know where the files are kept, and I want you outside to watch for Roger. I'll get my file, delete any computer records about me and leave."

The deputy director raised his eyebrows. "You have ten minutes, Ryuzaki. If you're not out by then, I'm coming in after you."

"Fine." L turned and strode away across the lawn, veering around Sakanaka in a wide circle, took the steps up to the front door two at a time and disappeared inside.

Soichiro stood there and waited, trying not to feel too awkward at the fact that he was being stared at by several children and teenagers and, if what he'd learned so far was anything to go by, that they were all far more intelligent than he was.

"So you brought L back," Sakanaka remarked.

"I brought him for a visit, that's all," Soichiro answered curtly. He shifted his weight, staring at the other man and then, when the silence between them became intolerable, demanded, "How can you be a part of this?"

Sakanaka shrugged. "I'm not really a part of anything. I'm just one of the caretakers here."

"Just?" Soichiro echoed.

"Well, I also teach chemistry to exceptional students."

"Are there any other kind here?"

Sakanaka looked surprised at the question. "Of course. This place is designed to help extraordinarily gifted children play to their strengths. An artistic child would have no need of any advanced science. It pays well, and so long as the kids aren't hurt, I don't ask questions. You have to admit, the opportunities in their own countries compared with those offered by Wammy's House are worlds apart. It's a good chance for them, especially the field agents like L. They do things you and I can only dream of."

There was no irony in his tone; it was clear that he believed what he was saying. For a long while, the deputy director just stared at him, unable to think of a suitably devastating answer for this statement.

"I think you'll find the Japanese police will see things rather differently," was the best he could come up with.

"The Japanese police, Yagami-_san—_" somehow, Soichiro wasn't surprised that Sakanaka knew who he was; after his refusal to hand L back he was probably Public Enemy Number One as far as Wammy's House was concerned— "don't interfere with other countries. There are only four Japanese members of Wammy's House. One is imprisoned and two are orphans with no family of their own. The only one who does have any family is Teppei Sasegawa, and you've already returned him, therefore you have no real jurisdiction to search here. The sole reason you were allowed to enter at all is because you returned L safely to us."

_So that's why Roger brought Teppei to Japan_, Soichiro thought bitterly. Not only that, but his initial suspicions had been right; the old man _had_ allowed the boy to escape, knowing full well Soichiro would move mountains – or in this case, Matsuda – to get Teppei home again. _He must have foreseen this._

"If you think for one moment that I brought Ryuzaki here with the intention of leaving him with you, you are very wrong," was all he said. "I brought him back because he wanted the chance to plead his case with Roger directly. We'll be leaving again as soon as he's finished."

"Yagami-_san_, this is a wasted journey. Roger is not here. You don't think he would have allowed the two of you to walk in without coming to greet you himself, do you?"

"No," Soichiro agreed grudgingly after a few seconds' pause. No, Roger really wouldn't have allowed L's return – even a temporary return – to pass unnoticed. "But I meant what I said. Ryuzaki won't be staying."

"I think you may find the House has other ideas on that score, Yagami-_san_."

"Then the House can go and screw itself," Soichiro retorted. "We're going as soon as L has finished and you have no right to stop either of us. L is still a Japanese citizen, after all."

Sakanaka looked genuinely surprised. "He isn't; he's out of Wammy's House."

"Wammy's House did not give birth to him. He was born to Japanese parents in Aomori prefecture."

"He is the property of Wammy's House."

"Which would make him a slave," Soichiro countered. "I can't speak for England, but slavery in Japan was abolished at the end of the sixteenth century. He doesn't belong to anyone but himself and if Roger thinks he can change that, he's in for a shock."

Sakanaka eyed him narrowly. "If I understand it correctly, Yagami-_san_, you're not related to L."

"Neither's Roger."

"No, obviously not. But you have no legal claim to the boy, and he was in our custody."

"He was kidnapped into your custody and he's an adult now. How many times am I going to have to have this discussion before it sinks in? If Ryuzaki were threatening you in some way, I can understand your wanting to find him – although I don't agree with it – but he's not. All he wants is for you to leave him alone. Is that really so hard?"

Sakanaka shrugged. "To tell you the truth, you're asking the wrong person. Like I said, I'm just one of the caretakers. Any decision regarding L won't be made at my level."

Soichiro couldn't think of a ready answer to this – at least, not one he was comfortable making in front of children – and so he just turned away.

Fifteen minutes went by before L emerged from the house without any file, moving in a slow, purposeful walk that somehow alerted Soichiro to the fact that something was very, very wrong. The young man didn't slow, didn't even pause until he drew level with Sakanaka and stopped so abruptly it looked like someone had jerked him backward. He stood there for several seconds, looking Sakanaka up and down with no real expression on his face.

Then he punched him.

Soichiro started toward them but before he got there, L had already slammed into Sakanaka with enough force to take him to the ground, where he got in three more good punches before the deputy director managed to seize him and drag him away, despite L's best efforts to get free.

Soichiro wasn't worried. It took L far more energy to struggle than it did Soichiro to restrain him, although the deputy director had to admit he'd underestimated the young man's physical strength. He'd arrested and restrained people facing the death penalty who had put up less of a fight.

It was less than a minute before L stopped moving, although Soichiro wasn't stupid enough to let him go. L hadn't stopped because he'd given in; he'd stopped because he could see his current tactics wouldn't work and that it was time for a rethink. Soichiro could feel him literally trembling with rage and tightened his hold in a silent warning.

"At least let me breathe!" L snarled.

The deputy director wasn't stupid enough to fall for that either.

"You can breathe perfectly well," he pointed out.

Seeing that he couldn't trick the older man into freeing him, L changed his strategy and hurled himself backwards in an attempt to knock Soichiro to the ground, succeeding only in forcing him back a step or two.

_Enough's enough_. Soichiro grabbed L's arm and twisted it up behind his back. Distracted by the sudden explosion of pain, L froze and Soichiro was able to drag the young man about ten feet away and forcibly turn him away from his target, putting his own body between L and Sakanaka. Furious, L twisted around, trying to kick. Before he could get into a good position, Soichiro took him down, placing his knee in the small of L's back and leaning enough weight on it to pin the young man to the ground.

"_Get the hell off me_!"

"No." Soichiro kept his own voice very calm. "I told you right at the beginning that I wouldn't let you go too far."

"Do you think I give a damn _what_ you told me?" L demanded, his voice rising. "I'm going to kill him, Soichiro! I'm going to rip out his throat and watch him bleed to death right here on this lawn!"

"I can't allow that, Ryuzaki."

"_You can't allow it?_ Who the _hell_ do you think you are?" L twisted around for a few more moments, then went limp.

Soichiro didn't move. Everyone he'd restrained always went through this phase. Right now L was exhausted and weighing up his options, trying to decide whether it was worth continuing with this fight. When he decided, one of two things would happen; either he'd resume fighting and the whole cycle would begin all over again, or he'd give in.

It took two more cycles before L finally surrendered. Soichiro could feel the fight go out of him; the young man shuddered and went limp under his knee, breathing hard and quivering all over.

What the hell had he seen in there? L – even the more natural, relaxed L that Soichiro had come to know – wasn't in the habit of physically assaulting people without a very, very good reason.

"Let me up." L's voice was hoarse.

Soichiro didn't move.

"I'm alright, Soichiro. I won't attack him, but let me up."

Slowly, Soichiro lifted his knee and sat back, releasing the hold he had on L's arm.

L lay there for a long time, too exhausted to move. Once or twice he made an effort to rise, but his arms wouldn't take his weight and he ended up collapsing again. Soichiro waited and then, when L tried to struggle upright for the third time, offered his hand. L stared at it for a long time, then seized it and let the older man haul him upright.

The deputy director held him up, supporting his weight entirely and waiting until L was recovered enough to stand by himself. Even then, the young man still clung to his arms so tightly that Soichiro found bruises there the next morning. The silence between and around them was absolute.

Eyes fixed on the ground, L said very quietly, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

L stood there for a few seconds longer, then turned his head to face Sakanaka, who had finally staggered upright.

"_Murderer_." Soichiro had never heard that word spoken with that level of hatred before. Every instinct told him the danger was over, however; L wouldn't resume his attack unless it was in self-defense.

"How's your chest, Ryuzaki?"

L didn't let go of Soichiro as he answered, "Hurts. A lot."

"Alright. Wait here, I'll go and get your file, then we'll take you home and see about getting you some painkillers."

L turned a look of pure panic on him. "What? No! I might lose it again!"

Soichiro gripped his arms. "You might, but you won't. I trust you, corny as that sounds."

The young man stared at him wordlessly for a few moments, then said in a quiet voice, "Please hurry back. I don't know how long I can just stand here."

"I do. I promise you I'll be back before you lose it." Soichiro half turned and said to Sakanaka over his shoulder, "If he's not here when I get back, I'll tear this place down one brick at a time until I find him." Previous experience of L's rather devious side prompted the deputy director to add, "And Ryuzaki, that doesn't mean you can sneak off and hide somewhere."

L glared at him and didn't answer. Soichiro could read the young man's expression all too well; he'd seen it often enough on the face of his own son, when Light had been particularly irritated at being outmaneuvered by, well, anyone, now that he thought about it.

The deputy director turned and walked into the building, a little part of him curious to see what it was like inside.

Again, contrary to his own expectations, the House turned out to be a nicely decorated, pleasantly lit building, with various pictures by the children up on the walls. Since this was Wammy's House, these pictures were of a far higher quality than normal; in fact, if they'd been for sale, Soichiro might actually have been tempted with one or two of them.

He peered sideways into various rooms as he went along, seeing nothing more threatening than state of the art classrooms and studios and in one case a dormitory containing six bunk beds and the name _C Dorm _on the door. He wondered which dorm had been L's.

A few turns led him to the office, which was deserted, much to his surprise. The deputy director glanced around, just in case the person responsible was hiding behind the desk – or had been knocked unconscious and stuffed behind the desk; L wouldn't have taken kindly to being challenged – but the room was empty.

_Good. That'll make things so much easier_. Soichiro closed the office door and began his investigation in earnest. Someone – possibly L – had left an open book on the desk. The heading on the first page read _LIST OF STUDENTS AND PROSPECTIVE CANDIDATES_.

Thinking this was as good a place as any to begin looking (and _not _because he was curious, not at _all_) Soichiro picked up the book and skimmed through it, noticing with no real surprise that it was written in Japanese. He wondered how many people from his country were involved in this.

_A – Obtained_

_B – Obtained_

_B2 – Obtained_

He turned the page, noting the letters give way to names.

_Lawliet – Obtained_

_Linda – Orphaned_

_Maki – Obtained_

_Matt – Orphaned_

_Mello – Obtained_

_Mira – Obtained_

_Near – Obtained_

Obtained. Obtained. Obtained. About ninety five percent of the gifted kids were _obtained, _which seemed to be a euphemism for _kidnapped_.

Soichiro closed the book and turned his attention to the filing cabinet, hunting through it until he found the file marked _L. _Taking it out, he studied it for a few moments, then decided to indulge his curiosity and opened it.

_After all, if there was anything in here Ryuzaki didn't want me to see, he would already have removed it._

The first thing he noticed was a head and shoulders picture of L. The young man's head was turned slightly to one side, as if he were being photographed under extreme sufferance, but it was still L.

The entries in the file weren't nearly so recent; they started from the moment L arrived at Wammy's House. There was nothing about how they'd obtained him, but that was hardly surprising; Soichiro doubted they'd be stupid enough to leave evidence like that lying around. Instead, there were copies of Japanese documents, such as school reports and notes on his family.

Pages three through eight were missing, and Soichiro was sure L had appropriated them for later rereading. He knew the young man was starting to be curious about his real family, but it was a dread kind of curiosity, as if he were afraid that researching them too deeply was the equivalent of holding up a huge sign reading _Here I Am!_ He wanted to know more about them, but he didn't want them finding out anything about him. It was hardly surprising L had taken those pages, since he had no memory of his real family. He remembered occasional things about his childhood, such as the bombing case that had brought him to the House's attention in the first place, and he remembered his native prefecture, but he had no idea what his parents looked like or what their names had been. He remembered that he'd celebrated birthdays with his parents, but couldn't tell anyone _how_ he'd celebrated them or what kind of presents he received.

_What the hell did they do to you? _Soichiro wondered. How could you make someone forget something like that?

He read on, paging through copies of L's school reports from Japan. It was like reading about a different person. L's teachers had all remarked on his astonishing intelligence, and his outgoing, playful personality.

_Playful? L?_

Except there had been glimpses of that, hadn't there? Very brief glimpses, few and far between, but there were times when the young man had shown Soichiro a more mischievous side of his nature.

The deputy director continued reading as the school reports gave way abruptly to brief one-sentence glimpses into L's early days at the House, all running along the same lines.

_Showing increasing signs of rebellion._

_Has trouble with authority._

_Stirring up dissent among the other residents. _(Soichiro had a vision of a little L scampering from one group of kids to the next, pausing only to deliver a blood-stirring speech each time).

The entries continued along the same vein for another three pages – if they were to be believed, L had really been a handful as a young child – and then the handwriting changed along with the contents.

_11/14 – Has calmed down a little after being informed of his parents' 'death'. _The inverted commas confirmed what Soichiro had suspected for a long time; that Wammy's House had lied about that particular course, he'd known for just as long a time that it hadn't been true, but a small part of him had hoped that the House had simply made a terrible but genuine mistake.

_11/16_ – _Possible bond with Watari to be exploited._

_11/19 – Lack of concentration. Disappointing. Shows a distinct lack of interest in day to day activities for reasons unknown._

Reasons unknown? Soichiro rubbed his temples. He could feel a red-hot headache slowly beginning to pulse behind his eyes. They told L his parents were dead and then couldn't understand why the boy was having trouble concentrating on training that he hadn't wanted in the first place, in a country he should never have been brought to!

None of this would have been anything new to L, though, and so Soichiro kept reading. Something in this file had smashed through the young man's defences and caused him to explode.

_And not just explode either_. L had often been aggressive toward Soichiro in the beginning, but he'd never physically attacked him. Come close to it, yes, but on the single occasion where he'd lost it enough to throw something at Soichiro, it had been a clumsy attack, easily dodged. This was something new.

Then again, maybe being here had simply triggered something, brought back unpleasant associations. L may not have had to endure any physical abuse – unless putting someone on a diet of cake and candy counted – but the psychological torment he'd suffered had been phenomenal and if being back here reminded him of it, it wasn't surprising he'd flipped. Soichiro had long stopped being surprised or puzzled by L's odd mannerisms; in fact, given the poor kid's upbringing and the kind of situations he'd been forced into at such a young age, he thought L was astonishingly well-adjusted, and for the most part Soichiro just accepted him quirks and all.

_That's what you really want, isn't it, Ryuzaki? You talk about wanting to be normal, but the truth is that you just want people to stop thinking you're strange and you think a complete personality overhaul is the only way to accomplish that._

That brought to mind another epoch in L's history and Soichiro paged through the file until he got to the part he wanted. He already knew L's side of the story, of course; what he wanted now was Watari's.

_7/11 – Caught with Hitomi Murasaki in Kyoto. Suspect attachment forming._

_7/14 – 7/30 – Repeated illicit excursions with Hitomi Murasaki. Seen walking with her in Kikoku-tei. 'L' spending entire nights away from the case. Upon return, distracted and unusually upbeat_.

_I'll bet he was_, Soichiro thought. No prizes for guessing what L and Hitomi had been up to on those nights. He wondered how Hitomi had come to accept L so fully and felt a sharp pang of regret that he'd never be able to meet her and ask, or even just meet her period.

_8/3 – L left his room. Found to be living with Hitomi Murasaki. __This must not be permitted to continue!__ Have contacted Sakanaka with plans to effect an immediate removal of this distraction_.

So Sakanaka was more than just a caretaker. Well, that wasn't too much of a surprise; given how riddled with lies and manipulation the House seemed to be, Soichiro would have been astounded if the other man really _had_ been what he claimed to be.

_8/9 – Murasaki removed to facility for the birth. 'L' was told that she had been killed by his target in the hope this would increase his motivation and get him back on track._

_Oh God_. Soichiro knew L well enough now to know how he would react; the intense grief, the crushing sense of guilt...poor kid. It would have been far kinder for him to have been dumped. At least that way he could have—hold on, what did that entry say again?

Heart sinking, the deputy director went back and reread the entry in question, one part of it firing straight into his brain.

_The birth_.

Soichiro stared at those two words, feeling his heart shrivel up inside his chest.

_Oh no. No, they couldn't have_.

Hadn't L or Hitomi used—well, no, obviously they hadn't.

Soichiro kept reading, his heart sinking further with every word. According to the file and one or two newspaper clippings and copies of doctors' reports, Hitomi had plummeted into severe post-natal depression, for 'reasons unknown' – although Soichiro thought rather savagely that being kidnapped, imprisoned and having her baby torn away from her might have played a large part in it – and according to a clipping from the _Yomiuri_, took an overdose and died despite the doctors' best efforts. Her son, initially a healthy baby, named Ryota by his mother and L2 by everyone else, had shown no sign of displaying extraordinary ability.

Soichiro looked away, his anger mounting.

_For crying out loud, did they expect the baby to recite Shakespeare or something?_

Ryota/L2 had been subjected to various development tests, only instead of displaying any of his father's genius, he had become very withdrawn and non-responsive. No surprises there, in Soichiro's opinion. Genius or not, you couldn't treat a child like a lab rat!

Watari had apparently reached the same conclusion: after six months of this, the last weekly report was written in the old man's handwriting as opposed to that of the others. Instead of being neatly filled in, Watari had scrawled across the sheet _Enough. The child is clearly nothing special and further observation is pointless. Find him a good, loving family and take him off our radar._

Nothing else had been written. Soichiro had no idea whether Wammy's House had found Ryota that family or not, or if they had, where the boy was now. He hoped they had.

At least now he understood L's reaction. According to the file, Sakanaka had been the one responsible for overseeing Hitomi's well-being, only he'd abandoned her once Wammy's House had what it wanted and left her to live or die on her own. No wonder L had punched him; at that moment, Soichiro was having to fight down a very strong urge to storm outside and do the same thing. And Watari...Watari must have known. Known, and done nothing.

Soichiro's knees gave out and he dropped onto a chair. Pulling his glasses off, he ran a hand over his face, staring at nothing.

They had lied. _Watari_ had lied, and Soichiro suspected that this revelation about L's father figure had contributed to the boy's reaction more than anything. And L had definitely read this far in his file. Soichiro was certain of that, since administration workers didn't usually scrawl the Japanese for _lying bastard_ across their paperwork.

_All the time he thought she was dead..._

Well, she was certainly dead now, there was no getting around that. The deputy director wondered if L had realized that. Had he been living in hope of some kind of reunion? If he'd known Watari had lied about other things, he must have considered the possibility that the old man had lied about this, somewhere in a tiny little private place inside his own head. Somewhere he wouldn't even let Soichiro into.

The deputy director paged through a little more, and then stopped when his own name jumped out at him in an entry dated the same day as the task force's arrival at the hotel.

_As feared, 'L' is finding it very difficult to remain focused on the Kira case in the presence of so many distractions. Despite orders to the contrary, he extended an invitation to the NPA representatives to meet face to face with him. Showing alarming signs of loyalty toward Yagami, even to the extent of defying me. While I believe 'L' to still be under control, Yagami is potentially a serious threat toward 'L's acceptance of me as his handler. Will continue to monitor him to ensure 'L' keeps his mind on what truly matters. Kira must be stopped and as I keep reminding 'L', he is the only one capable of doing this._

_'L' is, however, requiring more and more persuasion since Kyoto. Controlling him is becoming more difficult; he now seems unmoved by threats or punishments. If Yagami can motivate 'L', then the two of them will be permitted to confer until the end of the case, at which point 'L' shall be returned to the house in Osaka. Free from distractions, it is hoped that he will return to where his strengths lie. All other cases have been shelved until 'L' succeeds in catching Kira and will be free to catch up._

Soichiro flipped through to the next entry.

_As feared, Yagami is – I believe inadvertently – encouraging 'L' in his defiance. When I came through this morning, I discovered 'L' was asleep with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. My attempts to remove it were not successful. I must speak with Yagami soon, inform him of the importance of keeping 'L' completely isolated from emotional exposure._

Soichiro didn't know what had happened, only that Watari had never made good on his intention to speak with him. It was probably just as well; Soichiro didn't know what he would have said.

_'L' wrote his name in the Death Note. He will die in twenty three days. He also met with Yagami in one of the rooms and spoke to him in secret, turning off the microphones but not the cameras. He refused to tell me what they talked about._

The deputy director leaned back and massaged his forehead. He remembered that meeting. He didn't think he'd ever forget it, and he didn't blame L for not telling Watari about it either.

_How did you feel, Watari? When you knew your favorite prodigy was going to die?_

However Watari had felt, he'd taken it to the grave with him; there were no more entries in the file, only a small brown envelope at the bottom. The deputy director took it out and, feeling only a little guilty, opened it and stared at what was inside.

He stared for a long, long time, then tucked the envelope and its contents into his pocket. L would probably want to know about this, although Soichiro thought it would be a very good idea to get back to the hotel or even back to Japan first. The more distance he could put between L and Wammy's House before this particular revelation, the better it would be for all of them.

Mind made up, Soichiro closed L's folder and tucked it under his arm, then started paging through the others, not sure what he was looking for unless it was another Japanese kid who had gone missing. He didn't find any, but he did find a folder marked _Mello_. Curious – he'd heard a lot about Mello from L, but never had the chance to fill in the gaps until now – he took it out and opened it.

_Mihael Keehl. Obtained from Latvia, age nine years four months. Wild, violent and aggressive. Shows no signs of bonding to any handler as yet._

_Escaped. Found five miles away and recaptured. One handler hospitalized in the attempt. Immediate action must be taken! _This was underlined four times.

_'M' marked to make further escape attempts impossible. This was a very difficult decision, and let the record show it was taken without Watari's knowledge or approval. The action was made a little harder by 'M's resistance to the procedure, but in the end it was a success. Have included photographs for the record. 'M' is unwilling to accept medical treatment, but 'L' seems to have some influence over him, although any genuine friendship between the two may not be permitted, for obvious reasons. Since 'L' is only here for a short visit while Watari sorts things out, the two may be left. It is hoped that 'L's behavior may prove useful in taming 'M'._

Medical treatment? Soichiro frowned at the file. Medical treatment for what?

Curious, he skipped through to the section devoted to images, took one look at what lay inside and promptly hurled the file away from him, one hand clamped over his mouth. For a long time, he just sat there, trying to keep his breakfast down and then, when he thought he had himself under some kind of control, reached out and brought the file back toward himself with a hand that felt like it belonged to someone else.

There were three photographs in the file; one of Mello as he'd looked when they captured him – Soichiro found he couldn't use the word _obtained,_ even in his own thoughts – one taken just before Mello ran away for the last time and the other...

_Tell me they didn't. God, if you're listening, tell me this was some kind of accident. Tell me this isn't what they meant by marking him, because if it is, then I really do think I'm going to be sick_.

A burn. An ugly, suppurating burn – the photo was clearly taken just after it had been done – covered the left side of Mello's face. How they'd missed the eye, Soichiro had no idea.

_No wonder L helped the kid to run away. I would have too._

He went through the rest of the cabinet, noting and removing files for four Japanese children who had gone on the missing list. One of these was Teppei Sasegawa, who Soichiro and Matsuda had managed to get home a few weeks ago. Opening it, Soichiro was surprised to see written at the bottom of his file _Returned to family; do not attempt retrieval – Roger_.

Another file belonged to someone named Maki Nikaido, which was a name that was vaguely familiar to him for some reason. Part of him suggested that she must have gone missing a long time ago and he'd just read about and forgotten it – she was listed as being from the Kansai area, after all – but a tiny niggling feeling in the back of his mind said there was more to it than that.

_Never mind. I can look into it when I get back to the hotel._

On impulse, he took Mello's file as well. He had no idea if there was anything in it that Wammy's House could use to track him down – probably not, or they would already have recaptured him – but it was worth keeping just in case. L had often said he worried about Mello; maybe he could find the kid.

He'd got as far as reaching for another folder when the office door slammed open.

"Soichiro!"

The deputy director jumped and turned, coming face to face with L and feeling unaccountably like a little kid with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Ryuzaki? What—"

"I know," L interrupted, speaking rapidly and glancing over his shoulder. "I know you said I had to stay behind and I'm sorry but..." He broke off, looking away.

"But?" Soichiro prompted.

L moistened his lips.

"I saw a car coming down the lane." His voice was very quiet, his face a mask. "It's Roger. He's back."


	7. Then And Now

**Anonymous: **Yep, it's getting intense ;)

**PianoCatRulez:** Thanks :) And, well, it wouldn't be right if I didn't put a cliffy or two in, now would it? ;)

* * *

**JULY 30**

Oddly enough, there was no anger. Soichiro simply felt an icy calm slide into him and he nodded, gathering up the files belonging to L, Mello and Maki, the latter for reading later. If Wammy's House had taken another Japanese kid, he'd have to look into it as soon as he could (and where _had_ he heard that name before?)

"Alright. Let's go." He hesitated for a few seconds, then touched L's shoulder. "Ryuzaki—"

L slammed his hand away, not looking at him.

"_Don't_," he said in a tightly controlled voice. "_Don't_ ask me if I'm alright, or if I want to talk about it, because there's nothing to talk about. Do you understand me? _Nothing_."

Soichiro knew that was far from true, but on the other hand he couldn't see any benefit in having this conversation here in Roger's office of all places and so he nodded.

"Then let's go. Once we're back at the hotel, just let me know if you change your mind."

"I'm not going to change my mind," L informed him in the same tense little voice.

Soichiro shrugged.

"Well, that's alright too," he said. Humoring L would get them further than trying to change his mind. "Come on."

He led L back the way they'd come, past doors that were ajar to reveal identical dormitories. Soichiro didn't have time to stop and investigate, but the brief glimpses he got were of rooms that were bland, with no indication of the children that lived there. There were no pictures, no photographs - well, they wouldn't be allowed, given the kind of place Wammy's was - nothing to suggest that anyone even lived there at all.

_The sooner something can be done about this place, the better. _

Apart from sending out child agents to deal with situations that most adults would think twice about stepping into, Soichiro had no real issues with Wammy's House itself. In fact, setting up a place to house and educate exceptionally gifted orphans was a praiseworthy goal.

_Except not all of the kids who come here are orphans, so they have to be reconditioned and brainwashed first. Turned into nice, obedient little pawns._

Soichiro caught hold of L's sleeve and drew him to a halt outside a door marked BATHROOM. There was something he needed to do.

"Wait for me. I just need to go in here for a moment."

L stared at him incredulously. "_Now_? With Roger looking for both of us? Can't you hold it?"

"I'll only be a few minutes, Ryuzaki. If Roger turns up, call. I'll come straight out, I promise."

"Well, that ought to give us the element of surprise," L muttered. "Alright, but please hurry up."

Soichiro stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him, sat down on the toilet and took out the brown envelope he'd taken from L's file. Opening it, he pulled out the photos inside and started to sort through them. There were several showing different locations – a park, a restaurant, a place that had to be their apartment – and one that showed them sitting on the couch together. There was a very familiar look in their eyes, one that Soichiro recognized from his own romantic nights with Sachiko.

_He didn't. Did he?_

A quick flick through the next couple of pictures showed that yes, the photographer had. Soichiro took out all the photos which showed that particular sequence of events, placed them on the toilet cistern, pulled his cigarette lighter out of his pocket and set fire to them.

_There._ If Roger managed to get the file back and even demanded the envelope's return as well, he wouldn't see those photos. No one would ever see them again. Satisfied, Soichiro replaced the rest of the photos, flushed the toilet as cover and emerged again.

"What's that?" L demanded before Soichiro was halfway out the door.

The deputy director glanced down, mentally cursing as he realized he'd been in such a hurry to get back to L that he was still holding the envelope in his hand. Damn. He hadn't meant to mention it until they were both safely back in the hotel room.

"I found it in your file," he answered. "I thought you might want it."

L reached out, hesitated, then drew his hand back again. "What's in it?"

"Photographs. Mostly of you and Hitomi-_san_."

The young man stared at him, anger and pain flickering over his face simultaneously.

"Photos of when she was locked up, you mean? Why would I be interested in those? Do you think I want to remember her like _that_?"

"Actually, they were taken before." Soichiro pulled one out and handed it to L as an example. It wasn't a full shot – it had been taken from behind through a window – but showed two people who were unmistakeably L and Hitomi sitting on a couch together. It had been a touching moment between them, L caught in one of those rare instants where he was a normal young man, not an impersonal machine. Unfortunately it was also the first one in the group that showed the pair progressing to a more intimate series of events and Soichiro kicked himself. He should have handed over that one of the two of them in a park, or at the Golden Temple. Something that wouldn't make L feel quite so intruded upon.

"I remember that evening." L's voice was very quiet. "How, um..." He cleared his throat and tried again. "How many more photos..."

"That was the only one," Soichiro answered, which was a lie he didn't regret at all. The photos had been snapped from the moment L and Hitomi had exchanged that look to the moment they fell asleep on the rug in each other's arms.

"You're not a very good liar," L said in the same quiet voice, handing the photograph back to Soichiro.

"I didn't look at them all, Ryuzaki. There weren't that many and I only checked one or two to make sure they were all, well, of the same evening and not mixed up with any others."

L just nodded, his expression that of someone who is finding it hard to believe the world could possibly be _this_ humiliating.

"What did you do with them?" he asked.

"I burned them. I didn't think you'd want to keep them and I didn't like the thought of other people seeing them. The ones in the envelope are just of you two out and about." He started to pull another out to show L, but the young man turned his head away and held up a hand to shield his eyes.

"Burn those too," he instructed.

Soichiro hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I don't even want to look at them, Soichiro. Please destroy them."

"It's just that some of them are quite good, and I know you only have one photo of her and it's, well, seen better days," Soichiro said as tactfully as he could.

L shook his head. "That isn't the point. I don't believe whoever Watari hired could have followed us every day, but if he did then I don't want to know and if he didn't then I don't want to know which of our outings he spied on. The photo I've got isn't a good one, but it's one _I_ took. Do you understand?"

Soichiro nodded. "Yes. Yes, I do." He hesitated, not sure whether or not to proceed, then took out the other thing he'd found in that envelope – a slender gold ring set with alternating pearls and amethysts – and held it out. "Do you recognize this?"

L stared at the ring in Soichiro's palm, face suddenly white, then reached out and took it with a hand that trembled.

"_Where _did you..." he began, then broke off.

"It was in the envelope with the photos."

"But...how..." L shook his head, a dazed look on his face.

"Was it Hitomi-_san_'s?"

"No. It was going to be, but I never had the chance to give it to her. They must have searched the apartment but why would they take _this_ of all things?"

"Where did you get it?"

"Kyoto, of course." L's voice was flat. "I was investigating a kidnapping at the time. The victim was the daughter of a jewelry shop manager. I managed to save her and later visited her father's shop, where I asked for that ring as a reward."

"You were going to propose," Soichiro said very softly. He'd been happily married for twenty years, but he still knew an engagement ring when he saw one.

"I don't know. Maybe. I mean, not that same day – we'd only known each other a couple of months, after all – but perhaps sometime in the future. If I never did, then I thought she'd just like the ring _as _a ring. But like I said, I never got a chance to give it to her."

L nodded, swerving out of his path to kick over a chair and wincing a few seconds later, one hand pressed against his chest.

"Alright, that does it." Soichiro took hold of L's shoulders, turned him around and backed him into the wall. "No more kicking, punching or strenuous exertion until you're fully healed. I didn't sit by your side in the hospital all those weeks for you to throw your life away in a temper tantrum."

"I am _not_ having a temper tantrum," L said in a dignified and slightly slurred voice. "Do you see me lying on the floor kicking and screaming?"

"You've done all three of those things since you arrived here," Soichiro pointed out.

"Yes, but not at the same time. And the only reason you saw me lying on the floor was because you _took _me to the floor, so that doesn't count."

The deputy director sighed. "Well, if you're well enough to argue with me, I suppose you can't be in that bad a shape."

"Exactly." L squirmed a little, winced again and fixed Soichiro with a hard stare. "Now please be so kind as to remove your hands from my person, Soichiro, otherwise how am I supposed to hit Roger?"

Soichiro tightened his grip a little. "You're not. You and I are going to walk right past him and anyone else who might be with him and leave the House far behind us." Even as he said it, he wondered for the first time how they were going to accomplish this. The taxi was long gone and he couldn't imagine Roger offering to call them a cab.

"That's easy for you to say," L muttered to his feet.

"I know." The older man loosened his hold a little. L had just had the shock of his life, after all, and it was probably only his injury that had stopped him from going into a full scale meltdown. "How far is the nearest town from here?"

L shrugged. "Along the roads it's about five kilometers, give or take. Less if we cut through the woods. Roger isn't likely to lend us any cars at Wammy's House – although he might give you a lift back if you leave me here – but since that's not going to happen and I can't imagine you're going to steal transport or let _me_ steal transport, we're going to have to walk."

Soichiro studied him closely. Cutting through the woods might be shorter, but it would probably take a lot more out of L, and the deputy director himself was hardly dressed for traipsing around forests.

"If we can't find a car, can you make it on foot by the lanes?" he asked. "We can take it as slowly as you need to."

The young man paled but nodded once, eyes determined.

"Yes. I think so."

"Good." If the worst came to the worst, Soichiro was sure he could...well, not _carry _L, but at least support his weight. "And there's a station in this town that we're heading for?"

"Yes. That's why all of us who run try to get there. Trains carry you further and faster than feet."

In spite of the situation, Soichiro smiled a little. "Yes. I've noticed that myself. Come on. Let's get out of here."

Although they seemed to be attracting a lot of curious looks from the other Wammy's students, no one stopped them until they were outside. Apparently Roger had decided not to go in and chase them down; instead, he'd stayed and waited for them to come to him. He glanced up, breaking off his conversation with Sakanaka as L and Soichiro approached.

"L." Soichiro was glad to see Roger at least had the common sense not to paste a fake smile on his face; the old man simply took a step forward. "Good to see you again."

"Save it." L's voice was so hard that Soichiro glanced at him and shifted his weight. L had every right to be furious, but if he was thinking of attacking Roger like he had Sakanaka, then he had another think coming to him. "I just read my file. I know what you did to me. I know what you did to _them_."

To Soichiro's relief, Roger wasn't stupid enough to ask what L was talking about; he just shook his head.

"L, you don't understand," he said in the rapid tones of one who knows he only has a few minutes to get his point across. "The information in that file isn't accurate. The people who were after you...they were closing in on her. It was the only way to keep her safe, to make everyone think that we'd taken her." Roger took several deep breaths, then went on in a calmer voice. "Watari went back to try and convince Hitomi to agree, but she'd already left. We rearranged the apartment to make it look as though someone had broken in. I don't know where Hitomi went, but she's not dead. She's alive and well somewhere in Japan."

L stared at him, a look of pure contempt on his face.

"I'm naive, but I'm not _that_ naive," he said curtly. "If she were still alive, she wouldn't have left that necklace behind."

"Watari did that after you jumped out the window," Sakanaka explained. "He didn't hurt her, but he told her that she was going to get you in trouble, that there were already people closing in on the pair of you. He came up with the idea of faking her kidnapping. The necklace...he persuaded her to leave it behind, to convince you. He knew what we did would have to be something irrefutable, since you thought you were in love with her."

"You just said she'd already left when Watari got back. How did he persuade her to take off the necklace if she wasn't there? And why would you fake the hospital reports, and I don't believe even _you_ could persuade the _Yomiuri_ to run a fake story."

"The _Yomiuri _didn't," Roger answered. "We faked the newspaper clippings. Every detail had to be perfect, just in case someone found about her later and tried to use her to get to you through the House."

L looked at Soichiro. "Does the _Yomiuri_ keep archives?"

"Four years' worth?" The deputy director shrugged. "I don't know. But a library would have them."

L nodded. "Alright. So when you and I return to Japan, I can look up the back issues. That way I'll know that Watari either lied about Hitomi being kidnapped and murdered, or you're lying about her being kidnapped and committing suicide. Either way, I'm not going to work for any institution that would lie to me on that scale."

"What you had with Hitomi would never have lasted, L," Roger said.

Soichiro caught hold of the young man just in time. L squirmed and glared at the deputy director but it seemed he'd learned his lesson about struggling. Satisfied L wasn't going to race across the lawn and beat Roger to a pulp there and then, Soichiro returned his attention to Roger and raised his eyebrows. "Sorry, but should I take that statement as a concession from you that they really _were_ in love?"

"Lust can sometimes be mistaken for love. That's all it was." Despite addressing his answer to Soichiro, Roger kept his eyes very firmly on L the whole time.

"I mean it, Roger," L said flatly. He shifted his weight away from Soichiro and the deputy director, sensing that the danger had passed, let him go. "I'm not coming back to work for Wammy's House. Ever."

Instead of the kindly condescension that Soichiro had come to know and expect from Roger, the old man just sighed. "Well, if that's really what you want, L..."

_Now what are you up to_? Soichiro wondered, eyeing Roger narrowly.

"Too damn right it is." L skirted around the old man, Soichiro taking a more direct route past him, then paused and turned. "Don't ever contact me again, Roger. I mean it. Don't even _think_ about it."

He spun on his heel, led Soichiro out of the gates and down the lane. Neither Roger nor Sakanaka made any move to stop them.

Outside, L set a pace that caught Soichiro by surprise, one that was nearer to a jog than a walk. As soon as Wammy's House was out of sight, L slowed to a halt, stumbling over to a small tree and grabbing one of its branches, bending over.

"What's wrong?" Soichiro asked. "Does your chest hurt?"

"No." L shook his head, although the grim tension lines around his mouth and eyes told a different story. "No. I'm fine."

Soichiro folded his arms and stared hard at the young man. "Ryuzaki, if I had a hundred yen for every time you've told me that—"

"I'm _fine_," L insisted.

"Alright. If you're not in pain, then why did you stop?"

The young man looked down, biting his lip. "Because I wanted to ask you something."

"Go on."

"Do _you_ think it was just lust?"

The deputy director shook his head without pausing. "No. If it had been, you wouldn't feel it as strongly as you do now."

L didn't respond.

"Ryuzaki?" Soichiro's voice was very soft. He hadn't envisaged having this conversation with L in a deserted lane in the English countryside any more than he'd envisaged having it in Wammy's House, but since L had brought it up..."Before you read that file, were you aware that Hitomi-_san_ was pregnant?"

L shook his head hard.

"I see."

They stood there in silence for a long time, then L brought out the heart of his pain.

"Why didn't she _tell_ me?"

"She may have been waiting for the right moment to mention it. It's not something you can just drop into the conversation during the commercial break, and she might have been afraid of your reaction."

"Or she planned to get rid of it and not mention it at all," L muttered.

Soichiro raised his eyebrows. "That's a very harsh accusation to make, Ryuzaki."

"But it could be true."

The deputy director shrugged. "Well, I never met her, so I don't know. Did she often lie to you?"

"No." L pushed himself away from the tree, looking at the ground. "No, never. She was like you in that respect." He swallowed. "I think...maybe...you would have liked her, Soichiro."

"I'm sure I would have."

L continued staring at his feet for several minutes, then shifted his gaze up to Soichiro's face.

"What should I do?" he asked simply.

"About your son, you mean?" Even before he asked, Soichiro knew the answer. Despite his troubled, angry nature, L had a strong sense of responsibility for his own actions. A little too strong sometimes, as the young man had been known to suffer guilt pangs over accidentally squashing an insect, but the deputy director supposed it was better that way than the other.

L nodded. "I...Soichiro, I can't just abandon him, but I'd be a lousy father."

"You don't know that."

The young man favored him with a long, _how-dumb-do-you-think-I-am_ look. "How the hell could someone like me take care of a little kid when I can't even take care of myself yet?" L swallowed. Shifting his gaze to the tree, he stared at it for several minutes before looking back over at Soichiro. "Will you take him?"

The deputy director stared at him, for once at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry." L turned around and leaned against the trunk, biting his lip. "I know I'm asking a hell of a lot and I know I've got no right to ask it. But I don't want to see him stuck in some orphanage and you're the best man I've ever met. I know he'd grow up alright with you. I could be a...a family friend or adopted big brother or something."

Soichiro shook his head slowly. "That would never work. You can't lie to a child like that. What are you going to say when he finds out?"

"He doesn't have to find out."

"He does, because I won't condone that kind of lie, much less live it." When L was silent, Soichiro continued. "If it's what you want, then I'll help you find him, Ryuzaki. I promise you that much. But if Wammy's House was telling the truth in the file and he's now happy and settled with a loving family who are taking good care of him, I won't let you rip him out and take him to a strange country just because you feel you owe it to Hitomi-_san_. That wouldn't be fair on anyone."

To Soichiro's relief, L seemed to accept this; he nodded.

"Then if he _is _happy, will you at least contact the family? Tell them...tell them what happened? Tell them about me?"

The older man nodded. "Yes. But I can't make them tell him." Glancing around, he added, "Do you know the way to the village from here?"

L dropped his gaze and nodded, biting his lip. "Yes. I know I shouldn't have run away. I'm sorry."

The answer puzzled Soichiro a little, but he let it go. "Alright. Then lead on."

It was very slow going. At first L had to pause every fifteen minutes or so, then as they went on, this dwindled to every ten, then every five. By the time they finally arrived at the village in question, L was stumbling to a halt every few paces. Several people stared at them, but no one made any move to help.

_They probably think we can't speak English_, Soichiro thought bitterly. He wondered if foreigners in Japan ever felt this complete sense of helplessness.

It took twenty minutes to walk the short distance to the station, and by a stroke of luck – about time too, Soichiro thought – they managed to buy tickets to London on a train that was due in in about ten minutes.

L slept most of the way back. When he woke up, he seemed a little disoriented, but didn't say anything and Soichiro didn't like to push him. As soon as they entered the hotel, L made a beeline for the dining table, grabbed a sheet of hotel notepaper and sat down, while Soichiro went into his room and got his clothes ready for the next morning, wondering how the hell he was supposed to deal with this. When he emerged, he saw L had now bent his head over the paper and was busy doing something Soichiro was too far away to make out. Thinking now was as good a time as any to break the silence, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"Drawing."

The answer didn't surprise Soichiro so much as totally floor him.

"_Drawing_?" he echoed. L did appreciate art so long as it conformed to his idea of what made a good painting (realistic with no people or human settlements to be seen anywhere) but so far as Soichiro was aware, the young man had never shown any interest in making his own.

"Yep." L didn't look up.

"What are you drawing?"

"Roger and Sakanaka dying." As Soichiro came over, L covered the paper with his arms. "No fair peeking, Soichiro! You don't get to see it 'til it's done!" He squinted down at the drawing, tilted his head to one side, then added, "Can you get me my red crayon? I kinda need it."

The deputy director glanced around. "Where is it?"

"In my bedroom, of course. _You_ know that."

"Your bedroom?" Soichiro echoed.

L sighed. "_Yes_. Upstairs and it's the first door on your right. Please," he added as an afterthought.

Soichiro glanced around the penthouse suite. It was the most luxurious place he'd ever been in and it had everything a person could conceivably want, but one thing it lacked was stairs. He felt his blood start to run a little colder.

"Upstairs?"

"Are we in a cave? 'Cause I keep hearing this echo here. I got all the other crayons here but I need red. A _lot_ of red."

Soichiro didn't answer. He wasn't sure what he would have said in any case. There were no crayons on the table and looking at the young man, Soichiro saw something that gave him an unpleasant jolt; there was no crayon in L's hand either.

Fear trickled into his mind. He wasn't afraid of L – he had never been afraid of L – but he _was_ afraid that he would completely screw this up if he didn't watch his step. His training at the NPA had been annoyingly vague concerning what to do when a troubled young genius started drawing a non-existent picture with a non-existent crayon.

Soichiro had only seen L like this once before, but back then the young man had at least warned him it was coming and it really hadn't been anywhere near this unsettling. It wasn't just his actions either; it was his choice of words as well. Since when did L say things like _no fair peeking_?

For want of anything better to do, he walked into L's room and conducted a rather half-hearted search for the crayon he knew full well wasn't there.

How well could L keep track of time in his current state? He wasn't all that good at it in the normal scheme of things, never mind now, but even so, Soichiro couldn't help wondering how long he should stay in order to make L believe he'd searched.

_Should I even be humoring him like this? _He hadn't before, when L had had one of his bad days, but that had been different. Then L had just curled up and been mostly unresponsive and rather confused when he did respond. This was a whole new level.

_Then again, maybe he always does this_. Just because he acted that way on one bad day, it didn't follow that the others would be the same.

_But it is the same_, a little voice whispered. L didn't have flashbacks in the true sense of the word; what he had was some strange blurring of then and now. He firmly believed he was wherever - or whenever - he was in his mind, but somehow he also managed to remember and recognize people from the present as well.

_Last time he was confused._

Then _again_, L's last bad day had been triggered by the remembrance of his own live burial. If his mind had been telling him he was currently stuffed into a mail sack and buried alive in Europe, it was no wonder he'd been a little confused to find Soichiro in there with him.

_Yeah, and he came out of that one on his own. He'll come out of this one too. You'll see._

Soichiro cleared his throat and L covered the paper again, but not before the deputy director had had a chance to see that it was completely blank.

"Didja get my crayon?"

How was he supposed to answer _that_? Should he hold out an empty hand and pray that L would see a crayon there? Should he even encourage this, or should he try and bring L back to reality right now?

The deputy director hesitated for a few seconds, and then compromised by saying, "I'm sorry. I looked in your room, but I couldn't see any red crayons there."

L let out a gusty sigh. "Oh great. _Now_ how'm I gonna finish this picture?"

It wasn't just his choice of words either, Soichiro realized; L was now speaking Japanese with a strong Aomori accent. It wasn't quite the full-fledged Aomori dialect, but it wasn't far off.

"You could always color it in later," Soichiro suggested. _Preferably after you snap out of this_.

Another sigh. "I guess. Hey, Soichiro?"

"Yes?"

L returned to his 'drawing'. "If I finish all my homework, can I go next door and play with Kenta-_kun_?"

Maybe it was the surreal atmosphere of the situation, but the father in Soichiro took over completely at this point and the deputy director heard himself say, "If you eat everything on your plate and you've finished all your chores, then yes."

"Okay." As L focused completely on his picture, Soichiro pulled out an envelope and wrote _Kenta-kun?_ on the back of it. He didn't know if L was plucking a name out the air or if he really had been friends with someone called Kenta as a child, but it was another small piece of the puzzle that was L's past. A past that L occasionally showed signs of being curious about.

He hesitated again. He probably shouldn't do this, but it was too good an opportunity to miss.

"How was school?" he asked.

L shrugged. "Boring. Sugihara-_sensei_ always teaches easy stuff."

Soichiro added _Sugihara-sensei_ under _Kenta-kun_ and made a mental note to look it up. There couldn't be that many schools in L's hometown and it shouldn't take too long to trace a teacher from one of them.

He was just about to ask where the young man wanted to go on the weekend when L's cellphone rang, making the deputy director jump.

L squirmed about on his chair for a few seconds before finally managing to tug the phone out of his jeans pocket and open it.

"Hello?"

He listened for a few seconds, then his face abruptly cleared and he said in his normal voice, "Yes, of course. I'm glad you could make it. Please come up immediately."

He ended the call, then tucked the phone back in his jeans and smiled at Soichiro. "I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of inviting a friend over."

"No." The deputy director's voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat, trying to force some kind of normality into his manner. "No, I don't mind at all. Do I know them?"

Something in that seemed to amuse L; he nodded, but didn't answer.

"Ryuzaki?" A sinking feeling started to spread through Soichiro's chest. "You haven't flown Sachiko and Sayu over here, have you?"

The amusement vanished and L glared at him. "Of course not. I'm well aware Sachiko's still under police protection – though frankly there are times when I think that's something of an oxymoron – but I wouldn't endanger your family. Ever. But you do know the people I invited." He started clearing the table, pausing when he got to the blank sheet of paper. Frowning slightly, he picked it up and held it out to Soichiro. "Is this yours?"

The older man could only shake his head wordlessly.

"Hm. Must be housekeeping. I'll have a word in the morning; they're supposed to tidy stuff away, not scatter it around."

_Do I tell him now, or later?_ Soichiro wondered. Should he even tell him at all? The deputy director was certain it wouldn't do anything except distress L, but on the other hand, he could only protect him so much.

_Later_, he decided. The young man wouldn't take the news well, he was sure of that, and if people were coming up then the last thing anyone needed was for L to be upset.

A few minutes passed, then there was a loud knock on the door. Seeing L didn't look inclined to go over and open it, Soichiro did so himself, revealing—

"_Matsuda_?"

The young detective bowed stiffly. He looked a little rough, now that Soichiro examined him closely, but if he'd only just arrived from the airport, that was only to be expected.

"What are you doing here?" the deputy director demanded. He was uncomfortably aware that his voice probably wasn't as disapproving as he would have liked. Matsuda's arrival had snapped L out of...well, whatever it had been, and that alone made it a welcome event as far as Soichiro was concerned.

"I took Ryuzaki to the airport," Matsuda answered, stepping past Soichiro into the suite. "He invited me to come out with him then, but I had something else to take care of first."

"Are you staying here?"

"Yeah." Matsuda glanced around the penthouse. "I'm booked into the Azure Suite. Not as nice as this room, but more than enough for what I need."

"Matsuda, you're spending every yen you have on lawyer's fees. How could you possibly afford—" Soichiro began, then stopped. Slowly, he turned to look at L, who was now buried so deeply in a book that only the top of his head was visible. "Ryuzaki...?"

L shrugged and lowered the book. "I thought you could use some help."

"I see. So you spent God knows how much flying him over and getting him in here."

L gave Soichiro a look that was half defiant, half awkward. "Well, if I did, isn't that my business? I don't tell you how to spend _your_ money, Soichiro."

"You don't pick up my men and move them around like damn chess pieces whenever it suits you either!"

"I didn't move him. I suggested it and left it up to him to decide. And I persuaded Tatenaka to authorize Matsuda's presence at the same time as he authorized mine. He happens to outrank you, so it's not like Matsuda's job is in any kind of danger." Apparently satisfied this would be the end of it, L returned to his book, this time for real.

Soichiro looked at Matsuda and raised inquiring eyebrows. The detective shifted his weight, glanced at L and then, when the young man failed to come to his rescue, admitted, "Ryuzaki said you might need another interpreter besides him. I tried telling him my English isn't that good, but he wouldn't listen."

"Yes, and since you want me to stay here at all times while my chest heals, I thought you'd like another familiar face," L commented, before Soichiro could reach apocalyptic levels. "Tatenaka agrees with me on this one. Matsuda speaks better English than you do and he also works for the NPA, so his presence in this situation won't raise as many eyebrows as mine. Everybody wins."

"And what about _his_ situation?" Soichiro demanded. "Even if you did clear it with Tatenaka, Matsuda shouldn't be here. He's still got a responsibility to his family—"

"No."

Matsuda's voice was very quiet, but it silenced Soichiro as effectively as if the younger man had yelled at the top of his lungs.

"What do you mean?" Soichiro asked, after several seconds had passed in an awkward silence.

"What I say," Matsuda answered in a monotone. "The divorce was finalized yesterday. It's all over. I lost. Now if you'll excuse me."

He got to his feet, moving in a rather jerky manner, and walked out the door, closing it on a stunned silence.

* * *

**AN: **I'm sorry for the wait. At the moment I've got a lot of other projects going on, so although I'm still updating as fast as possible, it's taking me a little longer than usual to finish chapters :)


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